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  • Rated C For Child Welfare

    | New Brunswick, Canada |

    Me: “Hi, how can I do to help you?”

    Customer: “I’m having a problem with your automatic ticket machines. It won’t let me buy children’s tickets.”

    Me: “Okay, what movie did you want to see?”

    Customer:Final Destination 3D.”

    (I look at the customer’s children, who can barely see over the counter.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you can’t take your children to that movie. They’re too young.”

    Customer: “What the h*** do you mean?! They’re my children!”

    Me: “How old are they?”

    Customer: “Six and eight.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t think you understand how gory it is. A man’s guts get sucked out and then explode in the air! Could I recommend a different movie for you?”

    Customer: “No! I’m going to see this movie with my kids!”

    Customer’s husband: “Their favorite movies are Saw 1 and Saw 2!”

    Me: “Well, they still can’t go. It’s illegal.”

    Customer: “Nothing’s illegal to do with your children!” *storms away with husband and kids*