That Sums Her Up

(My boyfriend’s mother has been trying to get him to write a new resume, now that we have graduated from college. While texting him, I am trying to encourage him to write it, since he’s been putting it off.)

Me: “You should be doing your resume right now! You could at least make a rough draft. Then you can apply to all those cool jobs you keep telling me about!”

(A minute later…)

Me: “[Boyfriend’s name]’s current thought process: ‘Dang, I got both my mom and the world’s sexiest girlfriend naggin’ me about my resume!'”

Boyfriend: “Eh…”

Me: “Sigh, I know. I’m probably really only the world’s second sexiest girlfriend.”

Boyfriend: “Or the 749,262nd.”

Me: “That’s still not that bad… considering there’s at least 3 billion women in the world. That puts me well within the top 0.01%! BY THE POWER OF MATH, I turn your fake insult into a compliment!”

Boyfriend: “Sigh. You win.”