(Working at a sandwich place across the street from my college campus. One of my Spanish professors enters, and we chat in Spanish as I make her food. Another man comes in while we’re chatting, and stares at us.)

Customer: “What the hell? Don’t you dare coddle that job-stealing Mexican!”

Me: “Sir, that woman is a Ph.D. I can guarantee you, she did not steal your job. Oh, and she’s from New York. Can I take your order?”

Customer: *storms out*