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    Putting The Pain In Pain Au Chocolat

    | Portland, ME, USA | Food & Drink, Math & Science, Top

    (I’m 21 years old, but look considerably younger. I have just spent the day with my professor collecting ticks for a research internship, as well as driving quite a bit to find proper fitting gear for the next time we go out.)

    Me: “…and I’d like a chocolate pastry.”

    Cashier: “Okay! That’s the last one; they’re fantastic!”

    (The customer behind me suddenly starts shouting.)

    Customer: “NO! I wanted one of those; what makes you so special you get to have one? I’m your elder; you should give it to me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I was here first, and I’ve had a long, stressful day. I would like to get it, as it is the first thing I will have eaten since 7:30 this morning.”

    Customer: “What could you have done that was so stressful? You’ve clearly been laying out in the sun; you’re sun burnt for crying out loud! I’ll have you know that I have had an extremely stressful day, and as your elder, I would like this pastry.”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, she was here first. Unless she wants to give it to you, I am going to let her have it.”

    Customer: “Well, she should give it to me. I mean, how hard is it to lay out in the sun all day?”

    Me: “Ma’am, with all due respect, I have been outside working in the field all day, capturing small mammals and collecting deer ticks from them, and releasing them. I have dealt with angry squirrels, as well as a very frightened cardinal. I then had to drive about 300 miles today to find proper fitting gear. While I may look younger, I am 21 years old. I would like that pastry, as it is now 5:00 pm, and I have not eaten anything since this morning, and I need to continue driving home after this. If I may ask, what was so stressful about your day that could possibly compare to that?”

    Customer: “I BROKE A NAIL! Do you understand how much that hurts?”

    (The customer storms away to get a manager, who, having heard the whole thing, laughs in her face.)