Put Your Money Where Your Obnoxious Mouth Is

(I get in line to purchase some iTunes cards. In front of me is a customer in his late 50s telling his life story to an annoyed looking cashier; he’s bragging about his business and complaining about cellphones.)

Customer: *to cashier* “…and I run a business, not a charity, right!?”

Cashier: “Yes, sir. That’ll be—”

Customer: *spots me and my iTunes cards* “Wow, you sure have a handful of cards! What are they?”

Me: “iTunes cards, sir.”

Customer: “What are they for?”

Me: “To buy music and things for my iPad.”

Customer: “iPad?”

Me: “Uh, yes, sir. It’s a kind of—”

Customer: “I know what an iPad is! I have one! You can’t listen to music on an iPad, now can you! That’s an iPod!”

Me: “Actually, sir, there is a place where you can download the music, and an icon to click on where they are stored.”

(The customer goes back to talking about how his business is not a charity while the cashier tries to hurry him up.)

Cashier: “That’ll be $5.02.”

Customer: *takes $5 bill out of his wallet* “Oh, looks like I’ll need to bum some pennies off of someone, don’t wanna run back out to the truck.” *he turns to me* “Do you have some pennies?”

Me: “Yes, sir, but were you not just saying that you weren’t a charity? Nor am I.” *hands pennies to cashier*

(The customer doesn’t thank me and leaves.)

Cashier: “I f***ing hate that guy!”

Me: “Oh?”

Cashier: “He always acts like a superior a** and always bums money off people. And I know that family; he is absolutely loaded!”

Me: “I guess that’s how he stays that way.”