In The Twilight Of Our Friendship

(During college I work as a receptionist at a health clinic. There were four of us who rotate shifts and I often work with a second receptionist who is about 12 years older than me.)

Receptionist #2: “[My Name!] I wanted to ask you if you’d like to see a movie this weekend with [Receptionist #3], [Receptionist #4], and me for my birthday?”

Me: “Sure! What were you wanting to see?”

Receptionist #2: “You should know!”

(I should point out she was a HUGE Twilight fan. HUGE. I’d read the books on a 15-hour flight once because someone told me they were a quick read, but I personally prefer Anne Rice’s vampire novels.)

Me: “Um… Twilight?”

Receptionist #2: “Yes!”

Me: “Oh… I’m not really sure.”

Receptionist #2: “Oh, please? Please? I REALLY want us all to do something together!”

Me: *feeling guilty* “Well…”

(Receptionists #3 and #4 happen to come in for their shift and overhear. They finish convincing me to go with them. They aren’t fans either, so it’s pretty much understood we’re all doing this to be nice to Mary.)

Me: “Okay, I’m in.”

Receptionist #2: “Yay! And the best part is we’re going to the midnight premiere!”

Me: “WHAT?!”

(Receptionists #3 and #4 smirk at me, and I feel a sense of dread. Fast forward to that weekend. We get tickets ahead of time, have a late dinner which is really nice, and then the four of us go wait for the movie to start. The theater is PACKED with a mix of mostly teenage girls and women Receptionist #2’s age. Eventually, one of the “love interest” characters takes off his shirt, and the entire theater erupts in SCREAMS and WOOs!)

Me: *holding one ear shut since [Receptionist #2] is next to me screaming her head off, and glaring at [Receptionists #3] and [#4]* “I hate both of you so much right now.”

Receptionist #3: *also holding her ears* “You didn’t think we’d let you miss this, did you?”