(I’m a lesbian who works in a seedy area of my town, and I’m hit on constantly by these really old guys, or crackheads…or drunks…)

Drunk guy: “Hey…are you single?”

Me: “Nope. Gay too.”

Drunk guy: “Oh. So you like women?”

Me: “Yep.”

Drunk guy: “I can be a woman!”

Me: “I have standards.”

(The drunk man leaves, and my coworker nearly pees herself laughing.)