Me: “We’re going to take you to the hospital.”

Patient: “NO! I don’t wanna go there, they’ll arrest me!”

State Trooper: “Did you do anything wrong?”

Patient: “NO! I don’t wanna go to the hospital!”

Me: “Well you’re pretty banged up. We have to take you for your own good.”

Patient: “NO! The Chinese Lady is gonna stick an AIDS needle in my a**!”

Me: “There are no Chinese ladies at this hospital.”

Patient: “I’m scared! Last time I went to the hospital the Chinese lady stuck an AIDS needle in my a** and I bled out of my a**!”

Me: “Don’t worry, we won’t let any Chinese ladies near you.”

(We get to the hospital.)

Me, to my partner: “Oh my God, his nurse is Chinese.”

Patient, as we walk away: “STAY AWAY!”