Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “So, like, I poured coffee on my keyboard, then put it on my radiator to dry it out, then ran it through the dishwasher, then through the dryer, but now when I type it does funny things. Do you think the coffee could have ruined it?”

(I have to place customer on mute to laugh for almost a minute while he elaborates on his story.)

Me: “Yes, sir, it does sound like your keyboard has physical damage and will need to be replaced.”