Precision Pillows

(On the phone…)

Customer: “Hi, I want to book a room with two beds for tomorrow.”

Me: “Sure thing, sir, lucky for you we’re not busy this weekend and have several rooms available. ”

Customer: “Great, and how many pillows do the beds have?”

Me: “Umm, I think there’s two on each bed.”

Customer: “Can you check?”

Me: “Okay… I’ll just be a moment.”

(I go and check the nearest room’s bed and the next room along to be safe.)

Me: “Yes, two per bed.”

Customer: “So my room will have two pillows on each bed?”

Me: “That’s correct, sir.”

Customer: “I only like one pillow on my bed, can you give me a different room with a bed that only has one pillow on one of the beds?”

Me: “Umm… you could always just take the other pillow off your bed when you go to sleep.”

Customer: “What? No, I want one of the rooms with one less pillow on one bed.”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have rooms with specific numbers of pillows–”

Customer: “–but you have rooms with specific number of beds!”

Me: “Yes… that’s pretty much the norm, sir.”

Customer: “Don’t get smart honey, I want a room with two beds, two pillows on one of them but only one on the other. That’s what I want.”

Me: *sigh* “Okay, sir, I’ll personally remove one of the bed’s pillows before you arrive tomorrow, how’s that?”

Customer: “Good, that works for me. Hang on, are the pillows thick fluffy ones or skinny flat ones? Because if they’re skinny, I’ll just keep both of them.”

Me: “…”

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