Praying For That Lightbulb Moment

(I work at a retail store that generally closes before all the other ones around us. At this moment we have just a few minutes before close and I am back in my department, which is empty, when a customer whom I watched enter just 30 seconds before comes up to me.)

Me: “How can I help you tonight?”

Customer: “I need a lightbulb.”

Me: “Well, that would be in our light—”

Customer: “You don’t understand. I NEED a LIGHTBULB!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have lightbulbs in this department. But if you’ll let me direct you to—”

Customer: “You’ve got to be kidding me. Where are the d*** lightbulbs, kid?!”

(The announcer goes off, saying we are now closed, and I’m trying to be as polite as possible.)

Customer: “F****** people are f****** closed now! You people need to get your s*** together before you f****** close on a paying customer! I’m never coming back here!”

(I tell my coworker about the lady that night. He finds me during my shift the next day.)

Coworker: “Hey, did that lady happen to have [color] hair and a [color] purse with her?”

Me: “Yeah, why?”

Coworker: “She came back this morning. Apparently she knew exactly where they were. And she was very disappointed to discover they weren’t by the gummy worms.”