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  • Pray He Doesn’t Sit Behind You

    | Canada |

    (An old couple approach the auditorium I am ushering.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam, outside food and drinks are not allowed into our auditoriums. I’ll have to ask you to please dispose of these cups before you can go in.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. No problem.”

    (She throws away one of two cups into the garbage, and proceeds to walk in with the other one.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, you need to get rid of both of these drinks.”

    Customer: *points to her husband who is well on his way into the auditorium* “Oh, there’s nothing in that cup, that’s just for him to spit in.”