Customer: *completely stoned* “Hey, what’s your cheapest thing in the store?”

Me: “That’d probably be these miniature whoopee cushions. They’re a dollar apiece. There are three on the shelf behind you.”

Customer: “I’ll take all of them!”

(As I’m finishing the transaction, a well-dressed mother comes in with a young boy in tow.)

Customer: “Hey guys! Look what I just got!” *shows them the whoopee cushions*

Mother: *obviously uncomfortable* “Um…that’s very…nice, I guess?”

Customer: “Do you want one?”

Mother: “Oh no, no thank you, we were just–”

Customer: “C’mon, I have three of them! What do I need three for?”

(He shoves a whoopee cushion into the mother’s hands and wanders off happily.)