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    Please Set Your Phone To Jiggle

    | Sandy Springs, GA, USA |

    (I’m cleaning one of the theaters after a show. The lights haven’t come up yet, so I have a flashlight with me. An old lady approaches me.)

    Old Lady: “Excuse me, sir. Could I use your flashlight? I lost my cellphone.”

    (I shine the light over to where she is sitting, but find nothing. Another woman, who is also assisting the old lady, comes up.)

    Assistant: “Is everything okay?”

    Old Lady: “I lost my cellphone.”

    Assistant: “Uh-oh. Did you turn it off, or is it on vibrate?”

    Old Lady: “It’s on vibrate.”

    Assistant: “Well, here let me see if I can call it. What’s your number?”

    (The old lady gives her number and the assistant dials it. I hear the phone ring, but keep looking around and am unable to locate it.)

    Old Lady: “Oh, wait. I found it!” *reaches into her shirt and pulls cellphone out from her cleavage*