(At our library, the computers are all self-sign up. All you have to do is type in your name and library card number. This is clearly posted on the side of the monitor. In walks a young woman and her boyfriend.)

Young woman: “Can you help me with this?”

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Young woman: “I don’t know what to do.”

Me: “The instructions are on the side of the monitor.”

Young woman: “But why can’t you tell me how to do it?”

Me: “Because it’s SELF-SIGN UP.”

Young woman: “But I need help!”

Me: “All you have to do is type in your name and library card number.”

Young woman: “But do I have to read the screen?”

Me: *confused* “Of… course. The screen tells you when to type in your information. You have to read the screen.”

Young woman: “BUT I DIDN’T COME INTO THE LIBRARY TO READ!”

Young woman’s boyfriend: *turns abruptly and walks out the door*