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    Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum

    | Bloomington, IN, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a regular that comes in at least once every two weeks. He really enjoys talking to me, and for the first year of him coming in I don’t mind talking to him, even though he holds me in random conversations for 20 minutes at a time. On this particular day, I am discussing with him my upcoming internship abroad in Ireland, and this is the conversation that follows. Note that he is a man in his 60s, and I am an early 20s young woman.)

    Me: “Yeah, my grandma is supposedly already setting me up with an Irish guy over there.”

    Regular: “Well, you want to be careful. You know, you have your whole life ahead of you, and you still have so many things you want to do, and you don’t want to get tied down to anything, so you should take some condoms with you.”

    Me: *speechless*

    (Fast forward a couple months. It is one week before I leave for Ireland, and the regular comes back in.)

    Regular: “So when’s your last day?”

    Me: “My last day is tomorrow, but I leave next week.”

    Regular: “Okay, hold on.”

    (He goes outside. Meanwhile, my coworkers are teasing me about the regular. They know about the conversation with the condoms. The regular then comes back in.)

    Regular: *hands me a piece of paper* “This is my number. Text me when you get back. I’d like to hear all about it. Bye!”

    (He leaves.)

    Coworker: “Picking up guests, [My Name]?”

    Me: “I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS!”

    Coworker: “Maybe you should put him in your phone as ‘Condom.’”

    (I leave for Ireland, spend the summer there, and the experience is wonderful. I get back and reclaim my job at the theater. One evening I’m in concessions, cupping jalapenos. The regular has seen me on a previous shift, but wasn’t too creepy then.)

    Coworker #2: “Hey, this was left for you at the box, and I have no idea what it means. No one does.”

    (I read it. It is a note asking if I wanted to go to a White Tara Experience at the local Buddhist center, on such a date at such a time. At the bottom of the note read, “Let me know if you want to go. Here’s my number, give me a call. [Regular].”)