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    Please God, Let These Be Rhetorical Questions

    | Melbourne, Australia |

    Student: “Yeah, there’s something wrong with my academic transcript.”

    Me: “Oh, ok. What’s wrong with it?”

    Student: “It’s got fails on it.”

    (I start looking up his record on the database.)

    Me: “Yeah, I can see the fails. Did you pass those subjects?”

    Student: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, so you failed the subjects, and now they’re on your record as fails. That’s normally how it works.”

    Student: “Well, yeah… but can’t you, like, take them off? It looks bad!”

    Me: “…”

    Student: “How am I going to get a job?!”