(We’re a science fiction specialty bookstore. We also have a few other odds’n'ends around the store from series that do well, including several bits of Doctor Who merchandise.)

Me: “Can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “All of your Doctor Who stuff is bootlegged!”

Me: “I assure you it’s not, sir. As you can see, it has the BBC logo on it.”

Customer: “They can print anything in China. This TARDIS is a total knock off!”

Me: “Possibly, but we source our merchandise from reputable distributors located in the US & UK. We’re using the same suppliers that the [National Broadcaster] store uses for its Doctor Who merchandise.”

Customer: “Bulls***! This is all fake! And you know how I can tell? Phoneboxes are RED!”