That’s Not What App-ened

(I’ve just entered the main building of my school together with a friend when I encounter one of my classmates. Said classmate has a scar under his eye that wasn’t there earlier.)

Me: “Holy s***, dude… What happened?”

Classmate: *deadpan* “Ah, just got into a fight yesterday.”

Friend: “With whom?!”

Classmate: “I don’t even remember. Was too drunk to tell.”

(While we go out drinking and all that, our class in general is considered the “goody-goodies” of our year, and he is far from a violent drunk. That my classmate would get into a that serious fight is shocking enough that my friend doesn’t know how to respond and quickly excuses herself. I and my classmate head for class.)

Me: “That’s… that’s not what happened, right?”

Classmate: “How could you tell?”

Me: “If the other guy was serious, he’d give you more than just that scar, like a black eye or something. So, what happened?”

Classmate: *sighs loudly* “I was in bed, watching stuff on my phone, and my hand slipped, that’s all.”

Me: “Oh… then why didn’t you say so from the start?”

Classmate: “It’d make me look bad.”

Me: “And acting like you were in a drunken fight wouldn’t?!”