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    Pissed Off (And On)

    | Seattle, WA, USA |

    (I work as a plumber for a 5-star hotel. One day, I get a call from a guest with a clogged toilet.)

    Me: “Ah, okay…there’s probably a bunch of hair clogged deep down in these pipes.”

    Customer: “Well, can you get it out?”

    Me: “Yep. One sec.”

    (As I reach my hand down deep in the pipes with a rooter, I don’t notice the hotel guest turn on the water. It’s separately linked, and the water won’t activate unless flushed.)

    Me: “Okay, let me see if I got it…”

    (I try to pull up, but my hand gets stuck.)

    Customer: “You got it?! Oh, finally! I’m going to test it out, thanks!”

    Me: “No, sir, I haven’t linked the pipes back toge–”

    (The customer sits down and immediately lets out a thundering fart along with a large dump of diarrhea, simultaneously flushing. My head and the entire floor are soon covered with turd and piss.)

    Customer: “Oh my…well, I expect THIS to be complimentary!”