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    Picky Penny Pinching Plant Pilfering Patrons Provide Poor Perks

    | Ohio, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (A couple walks in, takes a look at the buffet, and then signals me over.)

    Me: “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “So, we’re vegetarian. What can we eat?”

    (I point out which dishes are vegetarian and explain a little bit about the food.)

    Customer: “Okay, thanks, but we aren’t going to be eating any meat. Can you please take the chicken dishes away? We don’t want them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a buffet open to everyone. Other customers will eat the chicken dishes.”

    Customer: “Well, can you just move them aside for me then? I don’t want to look at them. We won’t be needing them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t change the order of the buffet. If you look, you’ll notice that the chicken and vegetarian are completely separate from each other. It would be hard to get them confused.”

    Customer: “Okay, fine! Also, we don’t eat that much, so you should only charge us for one buffet.”

    (They both proceed to get at least 5 plates each. Normally I would have charged them for two people, but my workplace is pretty lenient. I don’t want to cause any more trouble, so I only charge them for one buffet when the wife comes up to pay.)

    Me: “That will be $8.50, please.”

    Customer: “What?! But I told you to only charge us for one buffet! We didn’t eat that much!”

    Me: “We charge $7.99 per person plus tax. I only charged you for one.”

    Customer: *happily* “Oh, okay!”

    (She hands me 25 cents.)

    Customer: “Here you go, dear! I know how you servers don’t like being tipped on a credit card! This way, you won’t get taxed! Thanks so much!”