Parlez-snooze Francais

(I’m a French teacher at a high school. There’s a girl who is notoriously late for class and when she does come, she goes straight to sleep. Strangely, her work is always done and she aces her tests so I let her be until this exchange occurs.)

Me: “Bonjour.”

Students: “Bonjour, Madame.”

(I begin taking attendance and the girl slips into the room and into her desk, mumbling a quick “Bonjour” as she passes me.)

Me: “Today we’re going to be splitting up into groups and reading the first section of the novel and—”

Girl: “Madame, I have a slight problem.”

Me: “Yes?”

Girl: *in French* “I hate all of my classmates.”

Me: “You know this is a French III class, right?”

Girl: “I guarantee you that nobody in this room aside from you understood me.”

Me: *in French* “Class, what did Mademoiselle [name] say?”

(There’s an awkward pause and some whispering but nobody volunteers an answer so I repeat my question in English. Once again there’s nothing.)

Me: “How do you guys do your work?”

Boy: “A translator.”

Me: *to girl* “Work by yourself, dear.”

(After that I moved her into a higher French class that actually wanted to learn. She never fell asleep in my class again.)