(I’m working on returns when a customer comes in with a can of paint from our store. An off-duty cop in his uniform just happens to walk in behind her, but she doesn’t notice.)

Customer: “This paint is crap! I don’t have a receipt, and I didn’t pay with a card, so a merchandise credit will be fine.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, this paint was never tinted, and it clearly says here ‘Must Be Tinted’. Also, our cashiers cannot check out anyone with paint unless they have a valid tint code, or the paint does not need to be tinted.”

Customer: “Are you accusing me of stealing?!”

Cop: *still standing behind her* “He gives a valid case.”

(She whips around, and turns the whitest color I have ever seen. After confirming with the manager, the cop has her arrested for petty theft; double-checking on the cameras throughout the day confirmed she did indeed steal the paint.)