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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Painful Showers Bring Mayday Flowers

    | Midwest, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (While working at the flower shop, I’m trying to quickly help a pushy customer.)

    Customer #1: “Could you HURRY up? I’m in a rush!”

    (I hurriedly wrap her flowers in tissue. In my rush to appease her, I staple my thumb to the paper. The staple is completely closed, going through BOTH my thumb and the paper. It immediately starts bleeding on her flowers.)

    Me: “OW! Oh, gosh, I need to get some help with this!”

    Customer #1: “No! I need my flowers! Give them to me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am bleeding all over your flowers. I need some help getting this out of my thumb. I’m sorry, but you’ll need to wait.”

    Customer #1: “NO! HURRY UP!”

    Me: “Do you want bloody flowers?”

    Customer #1: “I don’t care about your thumb! Get me new flowers!”

    (At this point, I notice Customer #2, who is standing behind her, getting woozy at the sight of my bleeding stapled thumb.)

    Me: *to Customer #2* “Sir, are you going to be okay?”

    Customer #1: “Stop helping him! You’re supposed to be helping me!”

    (Finally, a coworker hears the commotion and comes up front. She immediately gets on rubber gloves and starts trying to pry the staple out.)

    Customer #1: “I can’t believe this! If I wasn’t in such a hurry, I would just go somewhere else!”

    Customer #2: *still looking green* “Lady, just go somewhere else! Leave the poor girl alone!”

    Customer #1: “Lazy employees!” *throws her hands in the air and leaves*

    (Soon, the staple is gone and my wound is bandaged. At least my day ended on a high point—Customer #2 was very pleasant and bought me a flower!)