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    I’ll Take An Album Cover For 7000

    | California, USA |

    (I work in the OTC section of a well-known pharmacy chain. I’m stocking the shelves in an aisle when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. I’ve looked all over here. Where are your hemorrhoid wipes?”

    Me: “Oh, those are actually down on Aisle 20.”

    Customer: “Really? Why are they over there and not in this aisle with the rest of the anal care?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Customer: “Anal care!” *points at the aisle’s sign*

    (The sign she was pointing at? “Analgesics”.)

    S-T-U-P-I-D

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Food & Drink

    (A woman, about 40 years old, is looking at all our different food and drink items on a list on our front window.)

    Me: “Hi! What can I get you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, uh…what’s j-u-i-c-e?”

    Me: *pause* “Er, that’s juice.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (Stands there apparently thinking for about 10 seconds.)

    Customer: “I don’t know what that is. Never mind!” *walks away*

    It Keeps Saying Error

    | Eau Claire, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a cell phone store. From time to time, we have to fix phones for people. Today, an elderly woman is asking me to look at her phone.)

    Customer: “There is something wrong with my phone. Could you fix it for me?”

    Me: “Sure, what’s it doing?”

    Customer: “Well, it won’t make any phone calls.”

    Me: “No problem. Can I see your phone for a moment?”

    (The customer digs through her purse, pulls out a calculator, and hands it to me.)

    Customer: “See, I punch in a phone number and nothing happens.”

    Me: “Erm, did you grab this by mistake? This is a calculator, not a cell phone.” *hands back the calculator*

    (The customer takes the calculator back, looks at it, then looks at me blankly before walking away.)

    No Sudden Gender Changes, Please

    , | Washington, USA | Food & Drink

    (Another employee and I are working the drive-thru and we both are able to talk to customers at the speaker box.)

    Male coworker: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Well, I’ll take a number two and a number seven.”

    (At this point, my coworker has to talk to another customer, so I finish talking to the customer. I am a woman.)

    Me: “Okay, and what would you like to drink with those?”

    Customer: “Wh-What happened to the MAN I was talking to?”

    Me: “I’m sorry… he was helping another customer for a moment. Did you not want to talk to me?”

    Customer: “That’s just rude and confusing for the customer!”

    JFMAMJJASOND

    | Natal, Brazil |

    (It’s July 1st, so I am running the system to send the bills to all clients, as usual. I get a caller sounding very stressed.)

    Caller: “Hi there. About the bill you just send us: the due date is July 30th, but we are willing to pay this already tomorrow. Could you please change the due date for me?”

    Me: “Good morning, sir. About the due date, there’s no problem to pay it tomorrow. You have 29 days left to pay it. Feel free to do it any time before the due date.”

    Caller: “Yes, but I don’t wanna pay any taxes over this due to delays. So, could you please change the due date for tomorrow instead?”

    Me: “Sir, you can easily proceed with the payment tomorrow with no further taxes. The reason why the due date is set as the last day in the month is so that you can pay it anytime you want. So, feel free to do it any day before day 30.”

    Caller: *raised voice* “Do you just not understand? Today, it’s day 1st and your stupid financial department has set a due date that has already passed! Your company hires the stupidest people!”

    Me: “Sir, could you please tell me what month is now?”

    Caller: *long pause* “Hmm…”

    Me: “You are aware that month number 07 is July, not June?”

    Caller: *click*

    Me: “Sir?”


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