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  • Please Put Your Brain Back In The Driver’s Seat

    | Michigan, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I’m a receptionist in the service area of a car dealership. I am calling a customer to let him know his vehicle is ready for pickup.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! Just calling to let you know that your vehicle is all set.”

    Customer: “And do you come with the car? You sound like a pretty little thing.”

    Me: “Um, well, we’re open until 6 tonight, so if you want to come in and get your truck before then, that would be great.”

    Customer: “I’m a dirty old man.”

    Me: “Okay, then. Have a good day.” *hangs up*

    Blown Away By Insensitivity

    | New York, USA |

    (I am discussing with a customer why I can’t transfer him to our corporate office. They are located in Kentucky; at this time, they have had to evacuate the building for a tornado watch.)

    Customer: “You’re just trying to give me the run around!”

    Me: “Sir, they had to evacuate for a tornado!”

    Customer: “Yesterday, there was a corporate meeting. Today, there’s a tornado. What about tomorrow? A tidal wave?!”

    Me: “Sir, they had to leave. Their lives were in danger.”

    Customer: “Surely you can understand my frustration. This is ridiculous!”

    Me: “No, sir. I don’t understand your frustration. It’s a tornado.”

    Customer: “This is the worst customer service ever!” *hangs up*

    Show Me The Color Of Your Money

    | Ontario, Canada | Money

    (I work in a shoe store. Sometimes we have the same style shoe in different colors and the colors vary in prices. A customer is having a problem with the listed price.)

    Customer: “Why are the green and black shoes different in price? You should give me the price of the green one for the black one.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but the prices listed on the shoe are the final price. Different colors can be different prices, because they are a different shoe.”

    Customer: “You can’t have a different price for a different colored shoe! That’s racist!”

    Better Than Swimming With The Fishes

    | New York, USA | Language & Words

    (Like any grocery store, we have different departments, including seafood. I work in the customer service department. Even though the phone system gives you options of different departments to connect you to them, many customers will just choose our number because it’s one of the first suggested.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store], this is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Uh, hello, yes! I would like to speak with the fishes!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the fishes?”

    Customer: “Yes! The fishes!”

    Me: “You mean the seafood department?”

    Customer: “Yes! The fishes!”

    (Don’t) Remember The Alamo

    | Colorado, USA | History

    Customer: *walks up to ticket booth* “What is The Alamo about?

    Employee: “The Alamo, ma’am. It’s the mission building the Texans had to protect when the Mexican army invaded during the Battle of the Alamo.”

    Customer: “Oh my gosh! We’re at war with Mexico?!”

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