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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Guess Their Dog Wasn’t Hungry

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA |

    (I send homework home with my students every week. Sometimes it’s pretty obvious that their parents “help” them by doing it for them.)

    Student: “My mom doesn’t know how to do this.”

    Me: “No, but you do.”

    Student: “Oh.” *turns and walks away*

    (The next day, his work was completed.)

    Recipe For Disaster

    | Vancouver, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Top

    (A customer comes up to the pharmacy counter. Keep in mind, Sudafed (pseudoephedrine) is controlled in all 50 states as it is used to make methamphetamine.)

    Customer: “I need some Sudafed.”

    Me: “Did you want Sudafed or [store brand]?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The active ingredient is the same but sometimes they change the inactive ingredients. It still works the same though. Plus, [store brand] is about 5 bucks cheaper.”

    Customer: “The recipe said I need Sudafed.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: *realizing what she said* “Um, s***. Never mind, I got to go.”

    And Tell Voldemort He’s Next

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Geeks Rule

    (I work in a toy store in a local mall. One day a man comes in and stands awkwardly to one side for a long while. I realize that something is…off about him, mentally. Finally, he approaches me.)

    Me: “Hi, how may I help you today?”

    Customer: “Have you seen Bellatrix Lestrange?”

    Me: “We don’t carry any Harry Potter toys, but you might be able to find some Harry Potter stuff at Hot Topic.”

    Customer: *looking completely serious* “No, I’m looking for Bellatrix. I’ve already killed Malfoy and now I’m looking for that b****.”

    One Annoyed Paranoid, Part 4

    | Indiana, USA |

    Me: “Would you like to put in an email address or mailing address to receive coupons?”

    Customer: “Sure, I’ll give you my email address.”

    Customer’s friend: “No! Don’t give her your email address. People can hack you and track you down and find you with those.”

    Customer: “Oh, I guess I can’t do that then.”

    Customer’s friend: “Wait, did you say email or mailing address?”

    Me: “Either one.”

    Customer: “Well, I can go ahead and give you my mailing address then, can’t I?”

    Customer’s friend: “I don’t see why not!”

    Related:
    One Annoyed Paranoid, Part 3
    One Annoyed Paranoid, Part 2
    One Annoyed Paranoid

    Over The Hill And Picking Up Speed

    | Florida, USA |

    (An elderly man walks up to my register with his button down shirt unbuttoned nearly all the way and doesn’t seem to care he’s almost not wearing a shirt. After scanning his groceries, he goes to swipe his card on our new machine.)

    Customer: “Well, what the Jim Bean is this?”

    Me: “Oh, thats our new card machine. You just need to swipe, then sign for it with the pen there.”

    Customer: “What will they try to do next? D*** Chinese wantin’ to take over this country. Them and their Mickey Mouse!”


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