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Slightly Gross Story

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Bigotry Unleashed

| Yonkers, NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Top

(A gay couple has just met up in the restaurant and kissed each other upon arrival. Another customer has seen this and is obviously angry.)

Angry Customer: “Damn f**s.”

Gay Man: “Excuse me?”

Angry Customer: “You heard me, you little s***. Let’s not make this into some little pride protest, okay? I have to accept that you’re going to live your lifestyle, and you have to accept that I’ve got freedom of speech.”

Gay Man: *quietly* “Is it too much to ask for a little human decency?”

Angry Customer: “Human? Listen up, what you’re doing is not human. I think I have the right to determine what I think is human.”

(The manager shows up. He’s a quiet Italian man who I assume is conservative due to the Christian imagery and portrait of Reagan he keeps around the restaurant.)

Angry Customer: *to the owner* “Hey, can you move either them or us to another table?”

(Instead of responding to the angry customer, the owner instead speaks to his wife.)

Owner: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we have a strict ‘no pets’ policy in my restaurant.”

Wife: “Uh, I, uh, what? I don’t have a—”

Owner: “Well, according to your talking monkey over here, I can determine who’s a human and who’s not. You bring an animal into my restaurant? I gotta assume it’s your pet.”

(The angry customer stormed out. When I left, the owner was giving his description, and copies of security camera footage, to the biggest crowd of police I’ve seen. Apparently it’s a bad idea to not pay your bill at a restaurant that gives free coffee to cops.)

She Let It Get To Her Head

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(A customer comes to the counter with an expensive hair treatment.)

Customer: “Excuse me, this appears to be used. Do you have any others?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We just finished putting our stock away. If that was the last one on the shelf, then it’s the last one we have.”

Customer: “Well, I suppose I’ll get it anyway. I’ve never tried it before, but I pumped some out and it does feel very nice.”

Me: “Ma’am, were you the one that opened and used it?”

Customer: “Yes, but I had to see what it was like before I spent all this money on it! Now, are you sure there aren’t any more in the back? I really don’t want to buy something that’s been used!”

The Tooth Hurts

| Auckland, New Zealand | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(On my way out of the store, I spot an employee who is supposed to be greeting new customers. He is slumped over his ‘Welcome’ stand, half asleep.)

Me: “C’mon buddy, it’s not that bad. The day is almost over.”

Employee: “Yeah, but I really need a coffee. I’m so tired, man.”

(I go to the in-store cafe and buy the guy a coffee. An hour later, I return to the shop, having forgotten some items. I spot the same employee with a bandage around his jaw.)

Me: “What happened, buddy?”

Employee: *not recognizing me* “Some guy bought me coffee. I have really sensitive teeth, so now I got major toothache.”

(Guess I didn’t make his day any better!)

Purchasing Blood Wine

| Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Underaged

(I see two guys who appear to be in their early 20s approach a self-checkout machine with a case of alcohol. One of them appears to have some tissue in his nose. The other is acting nervous. Given the exchange of money between the two, I suspect a third party purchase.)

Me: “Good evening, gentlemen. I’ll just need to see both of your IDs before I approve the sale.”

(The customer with the item in his nose scowls and turns his nose up at me, revealing the dangling string of a tampon.)

Customer: *angrily* “Why do you need to see his ID? I’m buying it.”

Me: “Sir, it’s the law and store policy that I check the IDs of everyone in the party purchasing alcohol.”

Customer: “I guess I’m not buying this then, since he’s under 21!”

(He storms off, leaving alcohol on counter.)

Customer at the next machine: “What the h*** was that? Did he really just try that? And with a tampon in his nose?”

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