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    Judge Me Not By The Color Of My Liquor

    | Manchester, UK | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Could I have a vodka and lemonade, and a whisky and cola?

    Me: “Yes, sir, coming right up!”

    (I make the drinks and place them in front of him.)

    Me: “Anything else?”

    Customer: “No, thanks, but which one is which?”

    Size Matters, Part 3

    | Visalia, CA, USA |

    (I am mopping by our slushie machines when a man approaches me with an empty cup.)

    Customer: *holds up our biggest cup size* “Is this a medium?”

    Me: “No, that’s an extra-large. This one is the medium.” *shows him medium cup*

    Customer: “Oh.”

    (The man pulls out a large, which is clearly larger than the medium.)

    Customer: “So, is this a small?”

    Related:
    Size Matters, Part 2
    Size Matters

    Make Benefit Glorious Sunshinestan

    | Maine, USA | Geography

    (I work for a popular cell phone company in general care. I am answering questions about a woman’s international charges.)

    Customer: “I don’t get why you are billing me for international!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, since you do not have an international plan, you get charged per minute for calls internationally.”

    Customer: “That doesn’t make sense! Why don’t you charge me for calls to Florida?”

    Me: “Florida isn’t international, ma’am. That’s a part of the United States.”

    Related:
    Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

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    | IYAMLOL.com |

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    I Only Speak Sale

    | Redding, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    Customer: “What does ‘repackage’ mean?”

    Me: “It means that an item has been re-packaged.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that the item is no longer in the original packaging that it came in. It’s either because it was a return, or because the packaging got destroyed.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that we have discounted it for you to compensate for the missing package.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that the item is cheaper now than it was originally.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means that it’s on clearance.”

    Customer: “Oh! Why didn’t you just say that?”

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