• A Pain In The Nugget
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    David Vs. On-The-Warpath

    | Canada | Bad Behavior, Top

    (I’m helping a very nice woman with her cellphone. Suddenly, a man built like a bodybuilder comes rushing into the store, his arms full of documents.)

    Me: *to the man* “I’ll be with you in just a few minutes.”

    (Instead of waiting, the man pushes the woman out of the way to get to me.)

    Customer: “Hey, I need to use one of your computers. Can you log me in?” *gestures towards a setup of demo laptops*

    Me: “Uh, for what, exactly?”

    Customer: “I need to do some online banking quickly. Just f***ing unlock one of those computers already.”

    Me: “Look, I can’t let you do that. Those machines get sold, and if somebody gets your bank info off of a machine I sell them, I’m liable. More so, your attitude isn’t very respectful, sir.”

    Customer: “I don’t f***ing care if people steal my bank info! I just need to get this s*** done. Now, let me on!”

    Me: “No. There’s a public library open further down the street, but I refuse to allow you onto our machines, not just for liability reasons, but for how you’re treating me.”

    Customer: “Well, f*** you then!”

    Me: “You can leave my store, or I can call the police on you. Your choice.”

    (The man walks out of the store raging, and the woman I am helping before just looks at me shocked.)

    Woman: “I am amazed you talked to him like that. He looked like he could have snapped you in half!”

    Me: “At some point, you just get tired of some people. Let’s finish you up here.”

    (Later that week, I got a commendation from Head Office, star service award. I was nominated by the woman I served that night.)

    Phone-y Claim

    | Norway | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Top

    (A young couple known for having drug problems regularly hangs out at our store. One day, the girl is so high she trips over her own feet and falls outside our door. Her boyfriend makes a huge fuss and claim we have to pay for it because she ruined it at our property. We check with our main office and discover we have no legal duty to pay her. A few weeks pass before they show up at our store again.)

    Me: “Welcome to [store], how can I help you?”

    Girl: “Don’t you remember me? I fell outside of here. It’s your store’s fault because the ground was uneven. That’s dangerous.”

    (The ground outside was fine, and had been when she fell, but I didn’t want to argue.)

    Me: “Oh, yes, I remember that, I hope you feel better from that fall.”

    Girl: “Well, my phone got broken.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

    Girl: “It’s your store’s fault it got broken. You should pay up so I can buy a new one.”

    Me: “How is it broken?”

    Girl: “The screen is broken and nothing works. I can’t read messages or take calls or anything. It’s just ruined.”

    Me: “Well, here’s the address to the main office, you can mail them and make your claim.”

    Girl: “No. I need the cash.”

    Me: “I can’t give out cash for a broken phone I haven’t seen, for a price I don’t even know is legit.”

    (The girl grumbles and cusses for a while, but agrees to write up a claim to send. Meanwhile, her phone starts to ring and she answers it, talking to her boyfriend.)

    Me: “Was that the ruined phone?”

    Girl: “Yes, look at that crack!”

    (She shows me a small hairline crack at the side, but it’s otherwise functioning properly.)

    Me: “You said it couldn’t even make phone calls.”

    Girl: *turns a pale and walks out without a word*

    (Thankfully, we never saw her again.)

    Parents Need Guidance

    | Maple Grove, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (A customer comes in with a couple kids, talking on her cell phone.)

    Customer: *to me* “Two.” *continues talking on phone*

    Me: “For the indoor playground today?”

    (The customer nods and holds out $20. I make sure to make eye contact with them, since she’s still talking on her phone)

    Me: “Okay, that will be $8.”

    (I take the $20 and hand her the change, and since she is clearly distracted, I also make sure to get her a receipt before I put the wristbands on the kids.)

    Customer: *to her phone* “She didn’t even tell me how much it was! She just took my money!”

    Getting Out Of A Scrape

    | Cuyahoga Falls, OH, USA | Liars & Scammers, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (I work for a well-known electronics store chain that has their own repair section for electronics. A high school-aged customer brings in her laptop to be checked out.)

    Customer: “I have no idea what’s wrong! It just won’t do anything.”

    (My coworker takes her laptop and runs a virus scan.)

    Coworker: “You have quite a few viruses. It’ll be [price] to remove them.”

    Customer: “Oh, but I have a warranty! Those are covered, right?”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, the plan you have only covers accidental physical damage.”

    Customer: “Who the f*** do you guys think you are? You’re nothing! You have to fix this!”

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, we can’t unless you pay.”

    (The customer grabs the laptop and leaves the store. It’s a slow day, so we’re joking around near the front doors when we see the girl open her laptop, place it on the asphalt, step and scrape it into the ground, before picking it back up and bringing it back in.)

    Customer: “While I was walking to the car, I accidentally dropped it!”

    Me: “You know, we saw you scraping it up outside, right? You did it right in front of the window.”


    Coworker: “We can always go get the security footage.”

    (The customer made a huge fuss, so our manager agreed to take and send the laptop to the service center. Big surprise: it got sent back unrepaired because it wasn’t accidental damage.)

    A Double Bandaged Lust Story

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I am looking for a book from the ‘holds’ section of my local library. An old woman, about 75 years old, approaches me.)

    Old Woman: “Excuse me, but can you see if there is a book under [name]? I left my glasses in the car, and I can’t read the print.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, there is one.” *I hand her the book*

    Old Woman: “What is the title?”

    Me:A Double Barrelled Detective Story, by Mark Twain.”

    Old Woman: “Thank you, that’s exactly what I’m looking for.”

    (Later on, I go to check out a couple books. I see the old woman in line in front of me.)

    Old Woman: *to employee* “This young man helped me find my book. I would like to thank him.”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am.”

    Employee: “He volunteers here sometimes. He’s quite helpful.”

    Old Woman: “Oh! Then maybe he could help me find another book I’m looking for. All of my friends have it, and I want to know what all the fuss is about!”

    Employee: “What book would that be?”

    Old Woman: “It’s called 50 Shades of Grey.”

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