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    Coming Soon To Not Always Right: Zombies vs. Customers!

    | Not Always Right | Announcements

    Okay, the Zombie Apocalypse isn’t really upon us—but it’s hard to think of anything worse, right?

    What’s that, you say? Ah, yes, of course—dealing with customers can be much worse!

    How much worse? Well, we at Not Always Right are excited to announce our brand-new, upcoming series of customer-related comics. The first is titled, “Reasons Why Dealing With Customers Is Worse Than A Zombie Apocalypse“, and below is a sneak preview of one reason:

    Reasons Why Dealing With Customers Is Worse Than A Zombie Apocalypse

    We hope you’ve enjoyed this preview. Check back again next Saturday (January 21), when we reveal another portion of our comic!

    PS – we’ll be revealing the entire comic on Monday, January 30!

    Customers Should Watch Their Language, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Language & Words, Top

    (I have moderate competency in Mandarin Chinese, but it is not apparent because I’m not Asian.)

    Me: “Hello! Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer #1: “No, we’re just looking.”

    Customer #2: “Just looking.”

    Me: “All right, just let me know if you need any help.”

    Customer #1: *in Mandarin* “I told her to go away. She doesn’t listen!”

    Customer #2: *in Mandarin* “She’s a dumb girl. Just ignore her.”

    Me: *in Mandarin* “Hey look, the dumb girl speaks Mandarin.”

    No Simpler Explanation

    | Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I am a female working drive-thru with a male coworker. We are both able to speak to the customer.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [shop name]. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’d like a [coffee drink] and [sandwich], thanks.”

    (At this point, I am busy starting work on the sandwich, so my hands aren’t free to hit the button to respond to the customer.)

    Male coworker: “Alright, that will be [price] at the window, please.”

    Customer: “What? You sure went through puberty in a hurry!”

    N For Knucklehead

    | Texas, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work with IT issues over the phone. Sometimes, it’s hard to hear the customers clearly.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, and on your username, was that N as in Nancy?”

    Customer: “No, N like knife.”

    Me: *jokingly* “So, N like pneumonia?”

    Customer: *exasperated* “Yes! I said N as in knife! Jeeze, can you turn up your volume or something?”

    Butter Be More Careful Next Time

    | Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Food & Drink

    (An upset customer approaches me waving around a half-eaten bagel.)

    Customer: “Who would put so much butter on this bagel?”

    Me: “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “Do you seriously think it needs this much butter? Seriously?”

    Me: “You want less butter?”

    Customer: “The bagel is hot! Butter melts, and it dripped all over my shirt! This is a $50 shirt, and it’s ruined! Why would you put so much butter on this? It’s ridiculous!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Would you like a refund?”

    Customer: “I’d like you to pay for this shirt, is what I want! Who in their right mind puts on so much butter? Does this seem reasonable to you? Seriously! Look at how much butter is on it!”

    Me: “Well, you did ask for extra butter, ma’am.”

    Customer: “It’s ruined my shirt! So who’s going to pay for it? I’m not going to!”

    Me: “Let me get our supervisor.”

    (The supervisor proceeds to speak kindly to her, smile meekly, nod, and say “mhmm” a lot. She then gives the customer a complaint form to fill out. Somewhat calmer, and believing the supervisor was on her side, the customer takes the form and starts walking out.)

    Customer: “Well, I’ll try washing the shirt then, but if the stain doesn’t come out, someone here is going to be paying for this shirt! Seriously! Who actually thinks a bagel needs that much butter?”

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