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    Water You, Stupid, Part 6

    | Woburn, MA, USA | Food & Drink

    Customer: “Can I have a glass of water?”

    Me: “Sure.” *gets him cup of water*

    Customer: “Are we in Woburn?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Oh, so is this, uh, Woburn water?”

    Me: *sigh* “Yes.”

    Customer: “Didn’t this stuff kill people?”

    Me: “That was years ago.”

    Customer: “No, I think it was very recent.”

    Me: “No, the movie was just released very recently. The water’s fine now.”

    Customer: “I’d rather not take my chances. Can I get a bottle of water instead with a cup of ice?”

    Me: “You know where ice comes from, right?”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “Never mind. Enjoy.” *hands them bottle of water and ice made from Woburn water*

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 5
    Water You, Stupid, Part 4
    Water You, Stupid, Part 3
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

    The 2011 Not Always Right Story of the Year

    | 2011 Story Of The Year |

    Attention, Not Always Right readers! The results for the 2011 Story of the Year are in!

    Was it Making A Huge Difference, Friends In Unusual Places, or How To Make Them Silent As A Mouse?

    Click the “more…” link to find out which story won: (more…)

    E Pluribus Dumbum

    | Dallas, Texas, USA |

    (I”m working at a call center that sells products out of a very large catalog that doesn’t change often. We have just moved from Volume III to Volume IV.)

    Me: “Ma’am, if you could turn to page 36, in volume four, I would be more than happy to assist you with that product.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a volume four. I only have a volume I V.”

    Me: “Ma’am…that is volume four. It’s printed in Roman numerals.”

    Customer: “Does that mean I have to learn Latin to read this stupid catalog?!”

    Been In The Mountains This Whole Time

    | Windsor, CO, USA | Geography

    (I’m working the overnight shift and a man calls from Oklahoma to order some uniform shirts.)

    Me: “It will just take a few minutes for the computer to process your order. It doesn’t always go through, so I would appreciate you staying on the line until I get confirmation.”

    Customer: “I’m really glad you’re there to put this order in for me. I need those shirts as soon as possible, but I was worried it would be going to a machine by 10 PM.”

    Me: “Yes, there’s always someone in the office. It’s actually 11 PM here.”

    Customer: “Oh, so y’all are on the west coast?”

    Me: “No, we’re located in Colorado. I think it’s 10 PM on the west coast.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? Colorado has the same time as we do here!”

    Me: “I believe that Oklahoma is in the Central time zone, sir. Colorado is on Mountain time, which is an hour behind Central.”

    Customer: “There’s no such thing as Mountain time!”

    Me: “Sir, having lived here all my life, I can assure you that there is. The Mountain time zone covers several states in the U.S.”

    Customer: “No! There’s Eastern time, Central time, and Pacific time!”

    Me: “Yes, there are all of those, but there’s also Mountain time. The United States covers four time zones. Between your state and Nevada is the Mountain time zone.”

    Customer: “You’re not fooling?

    Me: “Not fooling. There is definitely a Mountain time zone, and I live in it.”

    Customer: “Well, I never heard of Mountain time!”

    Me: “Right. Well, all I can tell you is that it’s been that way as long as I can remember, but I’m only 22. Your order is complete, sir. Have a nice night.”

    Routine Trumps Common Cents

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Food & Drink, Money

    (A regular buys the same bottle of liquor every couple of days and brings in just enough money to pay for the bottle. This week, we happen to get in “special edition” bottles and put them in place of the normal ones.)

    Me: “That will be [price].”

    (The customer hands me money and I give him a $5 in change.)

    Customer: “Is this on sale or something? You gave me too much change!”

    Me: “That’s a special edition bottle we got in. It’s actually cheaper than the normal one!”

    Customer: “Well, it’s been [price] for six years! Why is it cheaper?!”

    Me: “Well, at least it’s not more expensive?”

    Customer: *muttering* “It’s been [price] for six years…”

    Me: *speechless*

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