Saved Him From Making A Big Mis-Steak

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Food & Drink

(A regular walks in.)

Me: “Good day, sir. What can I help you with today?”

Regular: “I’d like seven pounds of lamb.”

Me: “Yes, sir. Got a party planned?”

Regular: “My brother and his family is coming to visit. Oh, and my son is bringing his girlfriend over. She’s a vegetarian, so throw in some chicken too, I guess.”

Me: “Sir, if she’s a vegetarian, she doesn’t eat meat.”

Regular: “Wait, you mean she doesn’t eat any meat at all? Not even chicken?”

Me: “Not even chicken, sir.”

Regular: “But… is that even possible?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it’s possible. Here’s your meat. I suggest you drop by a grocery store and buy something green for your son’s girlfriend. Enjoy your dinner!”

Regular: “Thank you.”

(He starts muttering as he leaves.)

Regular: “No meat! Some people are so strange.”

Spoiled Customer Complaints

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Sanity Hanging By A Shoe-String

| Napa, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

(I work in the sports store’s shoe department. A woman comes in with a group of seven kids behind her, and marches straight up to me.)

Me: “Hello, and welcome to [store]; how can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, I need to get shoes for my kids.”

Me: “Alright, I can help with that. Which children need shoes?”

Woman: “All of them.”

Me: “…all of them?”

Woman: “Yes, each of them are a different size, too. I also want to get them each three pairs of shoes. Make sure all of the shoes are different, because they don’t want shoes that are like each others. And hurry it up, would you? I don’t have all day!”

Me: *whimpers silently*

Looney For The Tunes

| MI, USA | Awesome Customers

(I work at a feed mill. I am helping a customer load her car.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “No, I’m good.”

(As she is getting in her car, I notice a Looney Toons special edition jacket.)

Me: “That is a very nice jacket, ma’am. My father has one just like it, and I absolutely love it.”

Customer: “Does he have this exact one?”

Me: “Yes he does.”

Customer: “Very cool.”

(She proceeds to drive away, and I get back to my work. As it is nearing closing time, I see her pull back in the lot.)

Me: “Did I forget something, ma’am?”

(She exits the car holding the jacket.)

Customer: “Here, please try this on. If it fits, you may have it.”

(I am absolutely thunder struck by this, so I try it on. It fits perfectly.)

Customer: “I am glad it fits you. I have had this jacket for sometime now, and I am glad to see it go to someone who can appreciate it more than I do!”

The Homo Critical Are Hypocritical

| Quakertown, PA, USA | Bigotry, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(Three men walk in at the same time to the adult bookstore where I work. Customer #1 heads straight for the lesbian porn. Customers #2 and #3 are regulars, and they are a couple. They have specially ordered certain items, and are there to pick them up.)

Me: “Hey, guys! I have your order in the back. Let me go get it!”

(I disappear, but as I’m picking up their box of items, I hear shouting. I rush out front.)

Customer #1: “Homosexuality is a sin! Read the f****** Bible!”

Customer #2: “Sir, you’re yelling at us in a porn store, while holding a DVD of lesbian porn. You are just a hypocrite, and I don’t need to listen to you.”

(Customer #2 grabs Customer #3’s hand, and they continue to walk around the store. Customer #1 turns red, but comes to me to check out.)

Customer #1: “Can you f******* believe those f***?”

Me: “I can, and you know what? I love them, and accept them for who they are. As for you, I don’t accept your hatred. Get the h*** out of my store.”

(I take the DVD, put it into the return to shelf bin, and wait for him to leave. He starts screaming.)

Customer #1: “I’m going to put you in your proper place as a woman!”

(Customer #2 and #3 come over.)

Customer #3: “She told you to leave. Either you leave on your own, or we’ll help you.”

(Customer #1 turns pale, and runs out of the store.)

Customer #1: “The f*** are gonna get me!”

(I turn to the two regulars.)

Me: “Would you like a free DVD?”

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