Weekly Roundup: Health & Body

Not Always Right | Health & Body, Roundups

Weekly Roundup: Health & Body. This week, we share five stories about customers dealing with (and sometimes creating) health and body issues!

  1. Selfish Smokers (8,128 thumbs up)
  2. If The Zits Don’t Kill You, The Angst Will (4,553 thumbs up)
  3. It’s A Perm, Not A Sperm (2,716 thumbs up)
  4. Miss Diagnosis (2,961 thumbs up)
  5. Hollywood, M.D. (2,202 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Daylight Save Me From This Stupidity

| NC, USA | Crazy Requests

(We have a certain time by which all paper carriers should be finished. On weekdays, it’s 6:30 am.)

Customer: “I need to make a complaint about my carrier! She’s late every morning now!”

Me: “I do apologize. Is she delivering after 6:30 in the morning?”

Customer: “Well, no. But ever since daylight savings, it’s light outside when I get may paper!”

Me: “But she isn’t delivering after 6:30?”

Customer: “No, but it’s light outside!”

Me: “But the paper isn’t being delivered later in the morning?”

Customer: “It’s at the same time it always is; it’s just too d*** bright!”

Me: “…well, I’m very sorry to hear that, sir.”

Cotton-Pickers

| CT, USA | Food & Drink

(I work at a stand in the food court of a mall. We make cotton candy, and I usually have one out for display with a sign that says, “Please do not touch”. Children are usually pretty good about it, but adults are a different story. A customer reaches out and grabs the cotton candy.)

Female Customer: “Ooh, is this real cotton candy?”

Me: “Yes, it is. And now that you’ve touched it, you have to take it.”

Female Customer: “I don’t want that one; I put my hands all over it!”

The Booger-inning Of A Beautiful Friendship

| Hurst, TX, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m a customer in line at a pizza place. Most of the employees are Spanish speakers, but for the most part are bilingual. The cashier speaks in heavily accented, broken English, but is very sweet.)

Me: “I’d like a slice of chee—”

(A customer storms up to the counter, and begins screaming.)

Customer: “I ordered my pizza five minutes ago! Why isn’t it ready?!”

Cashier: “It is cooking.”

Customer: “It doesn’t take five minutes to heat up a pizza! I want my money back, and I want my pizza right now!”

Cashier: “It is in the oven; it will be soon.”

Customer: “I can’t understand a word you’re saying! Get me your manager!”

Cashier: “I am the manager.”

Customer: “I can’t understand you! Are you even legal? I can’t believe this place hires w******s like you!”

(I have had enough, and decide to intervene.)

Me: “Ma’am, your pizza is still cooking. They prepare them totally from scratch when you order. Her race has nothing to do with how long it takes to cook pizza, and you owe her an apology!”

Customer: “I don’t have to listen to you, you… you… booger face!”

(She storms off without her pizza, and I got mine for free. The cashier calls me ‘booger-face’ every time I eat there now!)

Window Pains

| MA, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

(A tenant in an office building calls the property management office. It’s autumn, and a bit chilly outside. Not every office in this building has a window, but hers does. Tenants pay more for the larger suites with windows.)

Tenant: “Ever since the heat came on last week, my office has been stifling! Can’t the maintenance do anything?”

Me: “I’m sorry, the office suites do not have individual heat controls. However, I can put in a ticket for maintenance to come and adjust your overhead vent so you don’t have as much warm air coming in.”

Tenant: “Well how long will that be? I’m dying in here!”

Me: “Maintenance is usually able to complete their tickets in a day or two.”

Tenant: “What? He can’t come today? This is completely ridiculous! How do you expect me to work, or see clients? I’m sweating!”

Me: “Well, in the meantime, you could certainly crack a window. It’s nice and cool outside.”

Tenant: “THAT’S NOT WHAT I PAY FOR!”

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