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    The Lights Are Out But Somebody’s Home

    | Hartford, Connecticut, USA | Extra Stupid

    (This is in the middle of a storm that knocked out the power of over a million people.)

    Me: “[Company] plumbing and heating. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my hot water heater is broken.”

    Me: “Okay, is it gas, oil, or electric?”

    Customer: “Electric.”

    Me: “All right. Because of the storm, I won’t be able to get there until tomorrow morning.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? I don’t have any lights and now I won’t get any hot water, either?”

    Me:“I’m sorry. What do you mean you don’t have any lights?”

    Customer: “My power’s out. Now you expect me to go without hot water too?”

    Me: “If your water heater is electric, it isn’t broken. It won’t work if your power’s out.”

    Customer: “So, fix it!”

    Me: “I’m a plumber, not electrician.”

    Customer: “So, give me another type of heater!”

    Me: “Do you have a natural gas line or oil tank I could connect it to?”

    Customer: “No, I have electric.”

    Me: “If you don’t have oil or gas, what am I supposed to hook the new heater up to?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! You’re the plumber. You figure it out!”

    Introducing Not Always Related!

    | http://NotAlwaysRelated.com |

    Visit Not Always RelatedBy popular reader request, we’re proud to unveil our newest site: Not Always Related!

    We all love family, but sometimes they can drive you crazy! Created for those moments where you wish you were not always related to your loved ones, Not Always Related is a website that tells the other side of the story with funny, unusual, and occasionally touching stories about family and relatives.

    Created by the team here at Not Always Right, we’ve long realized there was a place for family stories — in fact, many of our best stories are about parents & children, grandparents, cousins, siblings, and aunts & uncles! Just like Not Always Right, Not Always Related will feature daily posts submitted by readers.

    Note: For our first few weeks, we’ll be re-publishing some of Not Always Right’s best customer-related family stories on Not Always Related until we can get a steady supply of submissions.

    So, please visit Not Always Related today and share your stories!

    Carpal Cola, Please

    , | Parkersburg, WV, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (I’m working the register at a college cafeteria when a girl about my age walks up. She has a cast wrapped around her hand and wrist.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I broke my hand. Can I get a free bottle of pop?”

    Me: “Um, I can ask my manager.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (I go to the back office and tell my manager what just happened. He’s a really nice guy, but in this situation he just looks at me in disbelief and says no. I go back out to the register.)

    Me: “Sorry, my manager says no.”

    Customer: “Okay.” *laughs* “It was worth a try!”

    Team Cougar, Part 2

    | Memphis, TN, USA | Movies & TV

    (I work ticketing at a movie theater. A middle-aged woman and her daughter approach me.)

    Customer: “We’d like two tickets to…what are we going to see?”

    Daughter: “It’s Breaking Dawn.”

    Customer: “I’ve been calling it Sexy Vampires all day.”

    Related:
    Team Cougar

    We Call This A Flirting Faux Pas

    , | Shelton, CT, USA |

    (I’m a new employee at a convenience store. I’m French and my accent is quite noticeable. A regular walks in.)

    Me: “Hi, may I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh, a newbie. I like your accent. French?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “I had a French girl once. I should have never let her go.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir.”

    Customer: “I know one phrase. Je t’aime. Say it.”

    Me: “Okay…Je t’aime.

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “It means, ‘I love you.’”

    Regular: *triumphantly* “I made you say that you love me!”

    Me: *speechless*


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