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    Lost In No Translation, Part 3

    | Lake Grove, NY, USA |

    Caller: “Hello. Do you have an Italian to American dictionary?”

    (Note that the caller doesn’t seem to have trouble speaking English, and has a New York accent.)

    Me: “We have Italian to English dictionaries.”

    Customer: “No, no. I need Italian to American because English is a different language, right?”

    Me: “The English language is what we speak in America.”

    Customer: *frustrated* “Can I speak to someone who might know better?!”

    Related:
    Lost In No Translation

    As Easy As !-@-#

    | Colorado, USA | Technology

    (I’m the IT manager at my work. I’ve just created a user account for our HR manager.)

    Me: “So, the username is [username] and the password is just 1234.”

    Caller: “1234? That’s it?”

    Me: “We try to keep it simple.”

    Caller: “Okay, thanks.” *hangs up*

    (About a minute later, he calls back.)

    Caller: “It that capitalized?”

    The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2

    | Mobile, AL, USA | Hotels & Lodging

    Guest: “So, where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from Missouri.”

    Guest: “Really?! My wife has some family up there! It’s in Ohio, right?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Guest: “Oh, wait. That’s a state, isn’t it?”

    Related:
    The Great State Of Confusion
    The Great State Of Ignorance

    A Sign You’ve Gone Overboard Drinking

    | Dublin, Ireland | Extra Stupid

    (Two elderly men are sitting at the bar and are quite drunk. I overhear this part of their conversation.)

    Customer #1: “Was it you or your brother who was drowned at sea?”

    Customer #2: *pauses a few moments* “I think it must have been John. He’s the one that worked on the fishing boat.”

    The Sticky Details

    | Huntington, WV, USA | Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. This is [name] speaking. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, [name]. Look, my TV controller won’t work. Can you help me?”

    (I try troubleshooting, but nothing I suggest seems to work. After almost 20 minutes, he hangs up, saying he’ll call back. A few hours later…)

    Coworker: “Thank you for calling [company]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Can I speak to [my name]? I talked to him a few hours ago.”

    Coworker: “Oh, I’m sorry. He clocked out half an hour ago.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. Well, when you see him again, tell him I found out why my controller wouldn’t work. I probably should’ve told him I had spilled soda all over it.”


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