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    Take It Or Leave It

    | Canada | Top

    (When I do nails, I am required to ask the customer if they like the nail design after doing the first nail before moving onto the rest. This particular customer says she is satisfied. However, when I’m about to finish the last one, she complains.)

    Customer: “Ugh, this is just so ugly. I can’t believe you’re making me pay for this. I refuse to pay for something so ugly.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I asked you if you were okay with the design after I attached the first. Why didn’t you say that you didn’t like it then?”

    Customer: “Well, I thought I would like it once they were all on, but this is just too hideous!”

    Store owner: *walks over and starts removing the fake nails*

    Customer: “What are you doing?!”

    Store owner: “You said you didn’t like it and that you refuse to pay for it. We can’t let you walk out of the store with something you didn’t pay for.”

    Customer: “I was just joking! I was going to pay for it! I’ll pay for it!”

    Store owner: “No. You said you didn’t like it and that you thought it was hideous. We can’t let you leave the store with something we can’t be proud of.”

    (The store owner was completely serious: she removed every single one of the fake nails I attached before the customer could leave.)

    No Taxation Without Misinterpretation

    | Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout

    (A customer and her adult son come to my register with a case of water. Since some people forget, I explain that it’s the price shown plus five cents per plastic bottle per NY state law.)

    Customer: “There’s no tax on water in New York state!”

    Me: “It’s a tax on the plastic bottles, not the water.”

    Customer: “That’s only for soda.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it’s all plastic bottles. Since you’re buying 24 bottles, it adds another $1.20.”

    Customer’s son: “I work in a supermarket. There’s no tax.”

    Customer: “Exactly! It’s only on soda because of the corn syrup!”

    Me: “I honestly don’t know what to tell you, except that I’m 100% positive it’s on the plastic. I can’t remove the tax.”

    Customer: “Fine! I won’t buy any, then!”

    A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Books

    | Texas, USA |

    Patron: “Do you have any magazines with pictures in them?”

    Me: “All of our magazines are against the back wall.”

    Patron: “No, the magazines that have the pictures and you have to figure out what it is.”

    Me: “Well, you can look on the back wall and see if—”

    Patron: “Just tell me where the books are, then.”

    (I point to the books, which take up the whole right side of the building.)

    Me: “The books are all in that side of the building.”

    Patron: “Well, just tell me where the books with pictures are.”

    Me: “Many books have pictures. You’re going to need a title.”

    Patron: “Never mind!” *walks away*

    Pretty Poor Flirting

    | Australia |

    Me: “I’m really sorry, but you’ve come through to the wrong area. This is grounds maintenance.”

    Customer: “But you’re too pretty to work in grounds maintenance.”

    Me: “Thank you. You’ll still need to go to the central building, on the other side of campus.”

    Customer: “But you’re too pretty! I should be doing your job; I’m much better suited.”

    Me: “I, um—”

    Customer: “You’re too PRETTY!”

    A Glitch In The Matrix

    | Somerville, MA, USA | At The Checkout

    Customer: “This is such a nice store you have here!”

    Me: “Why, thank you. We do our best to keep it neat.”

    (The customer places one of our reusable bags on the counter to purchase it. The bag she is holding has my store’s name on it, along with motifs associated with our name.)

    Customer: “These bags remind me so much of [my store's name].”

    Me: “That’s because—”

    Customer: “These bags are so cute, too! I wish I could get one from [my store's name]…”

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