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    What Possessed You To Do That

    | North Shore, MA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Religion, Top

    (This happens while I am working at a Christian book store that also sells other “Christian” items. This particular incident involves a customer’s dissatisfaction with a child’s toy called the “Armor of God”, which includes a sword, a shield, and armor.)

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “Hello, I would like a refund for a toy I bought my son last week called the ‘Armor of God’.”

    Me: “I can help you with that. Can I please have the order number?”

    Caller: “Yes, the order number is ########.”

    Me: “Now, was the item defective or damaged in any way, or are you simply dissatisfied with the product?”

    Caller: “The toy is possessed.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Caller: “The moment my son put on the armor he started screaming and running around attacking everything with the sword. The toy is possessed and I want a full refund. Frankly I’m shocked that a store advertising Christian products would sell something like this!”

    Me: “Okay, well, if you box up the items, I can send you a return shipping label. When the toy arrives at our warehouse you will receive a full refund.”

    Caller: “You want it back?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I can’t give you a refund unless the item is returned.”

    Caller: “I’m afraid that’s impossible.”

    Me: “Has the toy been damaged in some way?”

    Caller: “No, I buried it.”

    Me: “What?”

    Caller: “It was possessed by a demon, so I buried it.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but if that’s the case, I’m afraid I cannot give you a refund.”

    Caller: “Why not?”

    Me: “Well, you buried the toy in the ground. You’re refusing to return it and the toy is ruined anyway. Per company policy, I cannot give you a refund.”

    Caller: “Are you serious? First, you sell me a possessed toy, putting my family in danger, and now you refuse to give me my money back? I demand to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am, but first have you considered that possibly the toy isn’t possessed and that your son was just play fighting?”

    Caller: “How dare you! Do you think I don’t know the difference? Do you think I’m lying? My son has never acted this way before. The toy is possessed and I am owed a refund. I demand to speak to your manager! I have never been so insulted!”

    Me: “Let me place you on hold while I transfer you to my supervisor…”

    Not Big On Beef That’s Big

    | Brampton, ON, Canada | Food & Drink

    Me: “What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I have a question.”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Will the ribs come cut up?”

    Me: “No, they’ll be a full rack.”

    Customer: “Oh, can I get them cut up?”

    Me: “I’m afraid the kitchen doesn’t do that.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, if the meat is too big, it scares me!”

    You Few Who Queue To Argue

    | New Zealand | At The Checkout

    (This occurs at the busiest time of year for our company. We have every checkout possible open and there are often lines of at least 15 people during most of the day. I am serving at my checkout when I hear a customer grumbling from the line. He comes to my checkout.)

    Me: “Hi there, sir, thanks for waiting. Is this everything you wanted today?”

    Customer: “NO! I am NOT buying these products! I waited in line for twenty minutes and that is far too long for anyone to wait to buy anything!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this is our busiest time of year and as you can see, all of our staff are currently serving–”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I’m not buying anything! You can put this all back yourself. I didn’t wait in line for this kind of treatment.”

    Me: “Um, so you waited in line to tell me that you aren’t going to wait in line and buy these products?”

    Customer: “Yes!” *storms off*

    Trick And/Or Treat

    | Westminster, CO, USA | Family & Kids

    (It’s getting close to Halloween. I’m doing my daily duties when I hear a woman talking to her son.)

    Son: “Mom, can we get these candies for Halloween?”

    Woman: “No! For the last time, we are not getting candy!”

    Son: “Why not?!”

    Woman: “I’m a teacher. Our house will get TP’d whether we have candy or not!”

    Look, But Don’t Touch Or Read

    | Massachusetts, USA | Books & Reading

    (A middle-aged man and woman walk into the small used bookshop. They look around at the shelvesof books, seemingly perplexed. After giving them a bit of time time, I check up on them.)

    Me: “Hi! Let me know if I can help you with anything.”

    Woman: What kind of place is this?

    Me: *confused* “I’m sorry?”

    Man: “What is this place?”

    Me: *still confused* “It’s a bookstore.”

    Woman: “So, all these books are are for sale?”

    Me: “Yes they are!”

    Man: “Oh…”

    (They exchange looks and leave.)


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