Smells Like Teen Illiteracy

| Medford, MA, USA | Musical Mayhem

Customer: “Do you have anything from Nirvana?”

Me: “Sure, right this way. Here is a book about Kurt Kobain, and over here is a copy of his diary.”

Customer: “No, the music.”

Me: “Oh, did you want the book about the band and the grunge scene?”

Customer: “No, the music.”

(The customer holds up his hands to his ears, miming headphones.)

Me: “I’m sorry, are you looking for the music on CD?”

Customer: “Yeah, a CD.”

Me: “Oh, sorry. We don’t sell that here. Maybe you could try the music store on the other side of the mall?”

Customer: “What? You’re out of the CD?”

Me: “No, we don’t sell CDs at all. Just the—”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Ah, because this is a bookstore?”

Customer: *looks up and around for the first time* “Huh! What a stupid store!” *walks out*

Time For Giving And Receiving, Part 2

| Robeline, LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(My coworker, who has just gotten off shift, is leaning against the counter talking to me when an older gentleman walks in.)

Me: *smiling* “Good evening and Merry Christmas!”

Customer: *frowning* “Why are you here? It’s Christmas!”

Coworker: *smiling* “Well, we don’t close for Christmas. She’s closing up shop, but I’ve just gotten off and am about to go home.”

Customer: *suddenly grinning* “Wait right here!” *turns on his heel and goes out the door*

Coworker: “…Okay, what was that?”

Me: “I have no idea!”

(The customer returns and gives my coworker a $20 bill then lays one on the counter in front of me.)

Customer: “Merry Christmas, ladies, and a Happy New Year too!”

(We both stare after him as he walks out, gets into his SUV and leaves. We then look at each other.)

Coworker: “Wow, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s done all day!”

Me: “Well, this is the season for miracles, isn’t it?”

(I still have no idea who that man was!)

Waxing Lyrical About Christmas Kindness

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(Several customers are purchasing wax cubes. You’re supposed to melt them in a wax burner, but I can’t help but sniff them while I’m ringing them out. I didn’t want to stop smelling one in particular. However, after seeing one of the customers looking at me funny, I quickly close it and put it with the others in the bag.)

Customer #1: “If you like those so much, you should buy some!”

Me: “Oh, I don’t have a wax burner.”

Customer #2: “You should get one! They smell really good when they’re melted, too!”

Me: “I’m a college student. I don’t have money!”

(The customers leave, only to later come back back through my line. They’re purchasing another lip balm and wax burner along with candy cane-scented wax. They start to walk away with just their lip balms and don’t grab their other items.)

Me: “Hey, wait, you forgot your bag!”

Customer #1: “That’s for you. Merry Christmas. You deserve it for trying to do something with your life!”

(I was nearly in tears for the rest of the evening! Thank you, kind customer!)

Fuming Over The Gas, Part 2

| Green Bay, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

(We are located in a small strip mall. As I am checking out a customer, I see a police officer walk in and two fire trucks pull up. The officer comes up to me and ask if there is a manager around.)

Me: *to my manager* “Um…. the police are here. They said they need to talk to a manager.”

Manager: “I’ll be right there.”

(When she comes to the front, we find out that the building next to us has a gas leak. We make an announcement to evacuate the store. Outside the store is myself, the front manager, night manager, and two framers.)

Framer #1: “You know, I get the feeling a customer is going to ask what going on…” *motions to the fire trucks and the orange cones blocking the store’s entrance* “…and when we tell them, they will ask if we’re open.”

Framer #2: “Don’t be ridiculous!”

(Just then a female customer walks up to us.)

Customer: “Oh my, what’s going on here?”

Me: “A gas leak happened next door. It’s starting to leak into ours.”

Customer: “Oh… so are you open?”

Me: *stunned* “Um, no we aren’t. We had to evacuate.”

(The customer huffs and grumbles about me being lazy. She then goes to the night manager, who tells her the same thing.)

Customer: “But that’s next door’s problem! Why is it yours!?”

Manager: “Because the gas is leaking into our store.”

Customer: “But I need to get something! Can’t you let me in?”

(This carries on, as both the front manager and the framers both explain to her why she cannot go in. The police officer walks over.)

Officer: “Ma’am, we cannot let you or anyone in. If you will be patient, the fire department will see what the levels are, and then we could possibly let you in.”

Customer: *huffs and storms off*

Framer #1: “I was only kidding when I said that!”

Framer #2: “You should know by now: when somebody becomes a customer, they lose all common sense.”

Related:
Fuming Over The Gas

Wait Until You Hear The Sticking Point

| USA | Bizarre

(A male customer walks in with a large stick.)

Customer: “Hi, do you guys sell baby shoes?”

Me: “Yes we do, sir. They are right over there.” *points to the shoes*

Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

(He walks over and proceeds to go through them. A few minutes later, he brings to the counter some baby shoes.)

Me: “These are very cute shoes. You have nice taste.”

Customer: “Thank you.”

(He then takes the shoes and puts them on the end of his stick.)

Customer: “The bottoms getting a little worse for wear and I would hate to get rid of this nice stick. Shoes should do the trick!” *smiles and walks out*

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