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  • Don’t Get Yuppity With Me

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Language & Words

    (I worked in a call center for an organization that helped people pay their light and gas bills based on their income. It’s Fall of 2011.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I have an application that says 2009-2010. Can I turn that in?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, we’re only accepting ones for this season, so it needs to be one that says 2011-2012. I’ll send you a new one.”

    Caller: “All right. I fill that out and mail it in?”

    Me: “Yup!”

    Caller: “Well, that’s stupid, but I’ll do it. By the way, do you say ‘yup’ a lot?”

    Me: *joking* “I say variations of yes all the time like ‘yup’, ‘you bet’, ‘of course’, and sometimes, even ‘yuppers’!”

    Caller: “Well, [caller's name] taught English for many years, and ‘yup’ is not correct grammar. It annoys [caller's name] very much!”

    Now Would Be A Good Time For *Evil Laugh*

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a hotel front desk. Two girls have just checked in.)

    Me: “Okay, I just need to see a picture ID and a credit card to check you into the hotel.”

    Customer: *concerned* “But will I get my card back?!”

    Related:
    Technical Take Backsies

    Talladega Springs To Mind

    , | USA | Geography

    Customer: “Do I have signal where I live?”

    Me: “I would be happy to check for you. What is your city and state?”

    Customer: “I live in Alamb-ma.”

    Me: “What is the zip code where you live in Alabama?”

    Customer: *gives me a zip code*

    Me: “That zip code is a Georgia location. You wanted coverage for Alabama, correct?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I don’t know the zip code, so I made one up.”

    Me: “That’s fine. Let’s try searching by city name instead.”

    Customer: “It begins with T-A-L-L…but…I don’t know the letters after that.”

    Me: “Why don’t I just pull up the map for the entire state for you…”

    Eating For Free (And For Two)

    , | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at a fast food restaurant gives customers their meals for free if they have been waiting a long time. This particular day, I’ve been told to void the next couple of cars. One girl in her 20s pulls up while talking on the phone.)

    Me: “Hello! I’m sorry for your wait. Your meal is on the house.”

    Customer: “Oh, really?! That’s awesome!”

    Me: “There’s your meal! Have a great day.”

    Customer: *into her phone* “Dude, [restaurant] just gave me my food for free! Yeah, and it was like a six dollar meal!” *quietly so we can’t hear* “I might be pregnant, but this just makes up for it!”

    Weekend Roundup: Attack Of The Tax!

    , , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!

    1. War Can Be Taxing:
      The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
    2. Taxation With Agitation:
      It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
    3. Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
      We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
    4. Taxing Customers:
      However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
    5. Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
      Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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