October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

A Cleaner With A Dirty Attitude

| MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top

(The store that I work at tunes up vacuum cleaners for customers. The policy is that we service the machines on a first come, first serve basis and any use of a non-commercial model voids the warranty. A customer comes in to pick up her vacuum.)

Customer: “What the f*** took you people so long! And what the f*** makes you think I’m going to pay for this s***?! My machine is still under warranty! I’m not paying for s***! You motherf****ers can kiss my a** if you think I am!”

Me: “Ma’am, please stop swearing at me. I haven’t cursed at you, and I’ll ask you to extend me the same courtesy.”

Customer: “F*** you! I’m not swearing! And even if I was, I have a right! It took you f***ing forever to get me this f***ing machine, and I need it for my business!”

Me: “Ma’am, in the first place all machines are serviced on a first come first serve basis and we actually got your machine back two days earlier than promised. In the second place, you’ve just admitted that you use it in your business and the warranty clearly states that use of that machine for commercial purposes voids the warranty. So, I’m sorry, but I’ll have to request that you pay for all service done before I release the machine to you.”

Customer: “F*** you! I shouldn’t have to wait! I spend money here! Everyone knows that if you spend money you get to go first! And I’m not paying for s***! I clean nice houses with this machine! It’s not like I’m working down in some n**** neighborhood cleaning rent assistance places because those f***ing crack w****s don’t know how to pick up after themselves!”

(She then stands in the middle of the store screaming the f-word at me repeatedly. When she finally pauses for breath, another customer who has been waiting her turn gets her attention.)

Other Customer: “Excuse me. Did I hear you say you clean houses for a living?”

Customer: “Yeah, I clean nice houses. Why?”

Other Customer: “Do you have any business cards? I’ve been looking for a service and several of my friends have too.”

(The first customer gives me a smug look and hands the other customer several cards, which she examines and tucks in her purse.)

Other Customer: “Thank you. I just wanted to make sure no one I knew hired you by mistake. Now pay for your repairs before I call the police and tell them there’s a crazy person going berserk in the vacuum store.”

(The first customer pays, calls me several more choice names and leaves. When I ring up the other customer who told her off, I somehow manage to ‘accidentally’ hit the warranty key on all her repairs, and send her home with a couple of the homemade cookies I had made for my coworkers.)

February Themed Story Giveaway: Awesome Customers!

Not Always Right | Announcements, Awesome Customers, Theme Of The Month
Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
Enter Not Always Right’s February Themed Story Giveaway:
Awesome Customers!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about awesome customers.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning January’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Bad Behavior. The winning submission: Taking Account Of Your Actions (2,058 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, March 6!

Bright Makes Right

, | WI, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(I am the drive-thru cashier on a slow day. Most of the few customers that have come through have been unpleasant or downright rude. During the early afternoon, a very cheerful customer comes through.)

Me: “Welcome to [store name]. What can we make for you today?”

Customer: “Hi! How are you today?”

Me: “I’m doing alright, thanks. You?”

Customer: “Wonderful! Can I have two waters and a [dessert item]?”

Me: “Alright, that’s [total] and I’ll see you at the window.”

(When the car pulls up, I see two teenage girls, both with big smiles on their faces. I hand them their water and take their money before handing them their treat. Before handing the treat out, the passenger leans forward and speaks up loud enough for the entire kitchen to hear.)

Passenger: “That’s for you guys, on us! Friend told us y’all were having a bad day; we wanted to cheer you up! Have a great day!”

(It worked! It totally made my whole day so much better!)

Mail Disorder

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(The office where I work is fairly small, which results in me overhearing the receptionists’ half of the phone conversations with some of our clients.)

Coworker: “[Office’s name], how can I help you?”

(The client talks, coworker answers the usual questions.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, I understand that but we can’t open your mail to check it for you.”

(The client continues talking.)

Coworker: “Yes, but as I said earlier, we can’t open your mail to check. It’s best that you get a P.O. box.”

(The client is talking again and is apparently upset, as the coworker has a frustrated/annoyed look on her face.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, you’ve called us many times in the past before, and we’ve said it many times before. We really recommend you to get a P.O. box, because we legally can not open your mail to check.”

(Eventually, the client hangs up.)

Me: “Not the first time?”

Coworker: “Won’t be the last.”

Lock Blocked

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids

(I work at a laser tag centre, which is housed in a converted warehouse. As a party is leaving, I see one of their kids swipe the padlocks off the roller door at the front of the building. After I call the parent in charge, the kid comes back.)

Me: “Hey, thanks for coming back.”

(The kid grumpily slaps the padlocks on the counter.)

Kid: *mumbles* “Sorry.” *he clearly isn’t*

Me: “Er, that’s okay, just… don’t do it again. You mind telling me why you stole these in the first place?”

Kid: “They were just hanging there so I grabbed them.”

Me: “What were you going to use them for?”

Kid: “I dunno, I could go lock s***.”

Me: “You do realise that you would never be able to open whatever you locked, right? Because you don’t have the key?”

Kid: *genuinely surprised* “Aw… didn’t think about that.”

Me: *trying to keep a straight face* “Alright, thank you for your honesty. Go back to your parents…”

Page 986/2,509First...984985986987988...Last