Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,786 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Please Activate Your Brain While You’re At It

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | At The Checkout

    (I’m cashiering at a large department store. I have a customer who is really pushing my buttons by requesting different things in different bags and just being a pain in the butt. By the time she’s ready to pay, I just want her out of there.)

    Me: “Ma’am, your card was declined. You can try it again though, if you like.”

    Customer: “Wow, that’s weird. This card is brand new.”

    (She swipes it again, signs, and it is once again declined.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, it still won’t go through. Do you have another card?”

    (The customer spends ten minutes looking through her wallet and finally emerges with another card and swipes it through. She keeps looking at her first card while the second card is processing.)

    Customer: “Do you think it didn’t work cause I didn’t activate it?”

    Me: “Yeah, probably.”

    Customer: “Why do they make you do that anyway?!”

    The Beginning Of The End

    | Illinois, USA | Technology

    (I’ve been helping a caller with programming their phone. We are nearing the end of this lengthy, multi-step process.)

    Me: “Now, you’re going to enter your number with the area code.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me:“After you enter your number, select OK.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: “At this point, you can keep selecting OK until you see EXIT.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    Me: “After you press EXIT, the phone is going to power off by itself.”

    Customer: “But it’s been off the whole time.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Piece Of Cake

    | Hillsboro, OR, USA | Food & Drink

    (Note that I am not the cake decorator at my store. I have no clue how to build or frost cakes. On this particular day, I am working alone.)

    Customer: “Is this ice cream cake vanilla flavored?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. That’s vanilla ice cream on white cake.”

    Customer: “What do you mean, white cake?”

    Me: “I mean, there’s white cake inside.”

    Customer: “There’s cake in there?”

    Me: “Um, well, yes. It is an ice cream cake. It’s made with ice cream and cake.”

    Customer: *looking distressed* “Oh…but, I don’t want cake! I want all ice cream! Can you take the cake part out for me?”

    Me: “Um, well, I’m not the decorator, so I don’t think–”

    Customer: “Just take out the cake part, frost it really quick, and I’ll buy it like that. It can’t be that hard.”

    Me: “So…you want me to scrape all the frosting off, take out the cake and throw it out, and then re-frost it for you real quick?”

    Customer: “Is that not possible?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but no.”

    (She ends up buying the cake anyway, but complains under her breath the entire process.)

    Non Sequitur, Part 2

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (A customer sits down at my poker table. He is clearly high out of his mind.)

    Customer: “Hey, man, what’s your sign?”

    Me: “Uh…I’m a Leo. What’s yours?”

    (The customer thinks about this for a full minute.)

    Customer: “I’m a marshmallow.”

    Locally Grown, Organic, Pesticide-Free Love

    | Grocery StoreMcBride, BC, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I’m working in the deli department of the supermarket. A customer approaches me with a container of our fruit salad.)

    Customer: “Hi, I have a question.”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Did you make the fruit salad?”

    Me: “Yes, I did. We make our fruit salads fresh every morning.”

    Customer: “Did you make it with plenty of love?”

    Me: *laughs*

    Customer: “Is that a yes?”


    Page 986/2,062First...984985986987988...Last