(I worked in a call center for an organization that helped people pay their light and gas bills based on their income. It’s Fall of 2011.)
Me: “How may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, I have an application that says 2009-2010. Can I turn that in?”
Me: “No, ma’am, we’re only accepting ones for this season, so it needs to be one that says 2011-2012. I’ll send you a new one.”
Caller: “All right. I fill that out and mail it in?”
Caller: “Well, that’s stupid, but I’ll do it. By the way, do you say ‘yup’ a lot?”
Me: *joking* “I say variations of yes all the time like ‘yup’, ‘you bet’, ‘of course’, and sometimes, even ‘yuppers’!”
Caller: “Well, [caller's name] taught English for many years, and ‘yup’ is not correct grammar. It annoys [caller's name] very much!”
(I work at a hotel front desk. Two girls have just checked in.)
Me: “Okay, I just need to see a picture ID and a credit card to check you into the hotel.”
Customer: *concerned* “But will I get my card back?!”
Technical Take Backsies
Customer: “Do I have signal where I live?”
Me: “I would be happy to check for you. What is your city and state?”
Customer: “I live in Alamb-ma.”
Me: “What is the zip code where you live in Alabama?”
Customer: *gives me a zip code*
Me: “That zip code is a Georgia location. You wanted coverage for Alabama, correct?”
Customer: “Yes, but I don’t know the zip code, so I made one up.”
Me: “That’s fine. Let’s try searching by city name instead.”
Customer: “It begins with T-A-L-L…but…I don’t know the letters after that.”
Me: “Why don’t I just pull up the map for the entire state for you…”
(I work at a fast food restaurant gives customers their meals for free if they have been waiting a long time. This particular day, I’ve been told to void the next couple of cars. One girl in her 20s pulls up while talking on the phone.)
Me: “Hello! I’m sorry for your wait. Your meal is on the house.”
Customer: “Oh, really?! That’s awesome!”
Me: “There’s your meal! Have a great day.”
Customer: *into her phone* “Dude, [restaurant] just gave me my food for free! Yeah, and it was like a six dollar meal!” *quietly so we can’t hear* “I might be pregnant, but this just makes up for it!”
Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!
- War Can Be Taxing:
The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
- Taxation With Agitation:
It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
- Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
- Taxing Customers:
However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
- Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!