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  • Eating For Free (And For Two)

    , | Durham, NC, USA | Food & Drink

    (I work at a fast food restaurant gives customers their meals for free if they have been waiting a long time. This particular day, I’ve been told to void the next couple of cars. One girl in her 20s pulls up while talking on the phone.)

    Me: “Hello! I’m sorry for your wait. Your meal is on the house.”

    Customer: “Oh, really?! That’s awesome!”

    Me: “There’s your meal! Have a great day.”

    Customer: *into her phone* “Dude, [restaurant] just gave me my food for free! Yeah, and it was like a six dollar meal!” *quietly so we can’t hear* “I might be pregnant, but this just makes up for it!”

    Weekend Roundup: Attack Of The Tax!

    , , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

    Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!

    1. War Can Be Taxing:
      The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
    2. Taxation With Agitation:
      It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
    3. Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
      We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
    4. Taxing Customers:
      However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
    5. Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
      Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Everybody’s A Doctor

    | California, USA | Health & Body

    (I’m working the drive through on a busy night and have just handed out a customer’s order. I’m saying “goodbye” when this conversation happens.)

    Customer: “Does your left hip hurt?”

    Me: *confused* “No…?”

    Customer: “Oh, well, how about your throat?”

    Me: *wondering what my hip has to do with my throat* “Nope.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, that’s good. That’s very good.”

    Me: “All right, have a nice night.”

    The Biological Clock Of Impending Doom

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    (Please note that I am a young looking 21 year old. I am processing a transaction for an older gentleman.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today, sir?”

    Customer: “Are you…” *mumbles incoherently*

    Me: *thinking he said something else* “Oh, yes, I’m new! I’m [name].”

    Customer: “No, no, I asked if you were married.”

    Me: “What? Um, no, I’m not married. Not yet.”

    Customer: “Well, you’d better get on that.” *stares judgmentally and walks away*

    Cash Back (And Forth)

    | Gulfport, MS, USA | Money, Top

    (I am a cashier at a drugstore. A man is buying about $60 worth of merchandise.)

    Customer: “Can I pay $40 in cash and put the rest on my debit card?”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (I take his money and give him his new total. He swipes his card and the machine asks him if he wants cash back.)

    Customer: “Oh, yes, I DO want cash back!”

    (He gets $20 in cash back. I look at the $40 in my hand and slowly hand one of his 20′s back to him.)

    Customer: *has a moment of clarity* “Hm, that didn’t make much sense, did it?”

    Me: “No, sir, not really.”

    (He leaves with his head down in shame, clutching a $20 bill.)

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