Victim Of A Crazy Mugging

| QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(We have a staff rest/break room near the bathrooms. Customers accidentally walk into it all the time, so we get a very big sign that says ‘Staff Only, Please Do Not Enter’. One day, I hear several very loud noises coming from the staff break room. I go to investigate.)

Me: “Is everything okay in here?”

(I look around to utter chaos. Tea and coffee has been thrown all around the room. Milk has been poured on the counter, and the water jug is on the floor. Oddest of all, the fridge door is wide open, and the shelves have been neatly removed and stacked on top of the table. In the middle of all of it is sitting a very well-dressed middle aged woman. She is sipping coffee out of my personal coffee mug.)

Me: “I.. um… excuse me, ma’am?”

(She looks up with a lovely smile, and goes back to sipping coffee.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m going to have to ask you to… um—”

(She stares at me for a very long time, then goes back to her coffee.)

Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, ma’am. This is a staff only area.”

(She smiles, and starts talking in a very fake British accent.)

Customer: “Oh, you know. I just wanted a coffee.”

Me: “That’s fine, ma’am. I’m going to have to ask you to take it outside of this room. It’s for staff only.”

Customer: “But… my coffee?”

Me: “It’s okay, take it around the shop with you. I’ll even put it into a take-away cup for you.”

(I offer to take back my mug. Her smile turns to a horrible scowl.)

Customer: “MY cup!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, it’s mine. Now, I need you to leave this area before I call security.”

Customer: “Oh!”

(Smiling again, she gets up and walks out of the room. She then turns around, shrieks, and hurls the cup at me, where it smashes at my feet.)

Customer: “MY CUP! MY COFFEE!”

(I call security. She goes on a rampage, trying to smash everything in sight. She even bites the security guard. They have to call the police, because they can’t restrain her. I guess some people really do need coffee to be human.)

Small Minded People

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids

(I am a dwarf, and need a stool to be seen clearly. From the till, I can pass as an average-height person. A customer and her small child approach.)

Customer: “Do you have any woollen gloves?”

Me: “Sure, we keep more stuff in the back. I’ll go and check for you.”

(I step down from my stool, and come out from behind the counter. The customer is surprised, and takes a step back, taking her child’s hand. Despite being hurt by her reaction, I make myself smile. I head to the back room, where I can hear her son.)

Child: “What was that, mum?”

Customer: “Shush! Don’t stare. He’s just a midget; he won’t hurt you. He didn’t eat his greens, that’s all.”

(I come back through with a box of gloves.)

Me: “Sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing. Midget isn’t the most ‘PC’ term to use. Personally, I prefer dwarf; it’s different for everyone. Midget is definitely offensive for most though.”

(The customer looks at me wide-eyed, saying nothing. I gesture to the box for her to look through.)

Me: “You’ll probably find something in there. We have quite a lot of—”

Customer: “Is it okay if you go back behind the counter? You know, for my son?”

(Quite speechless, I go back behind the counter, and on to the stool. My manager decides to intervene.)

Manager: “Is there a problem here? Do you think [my name] here is going to taint your kid’s innocence or something?”

Customer: “I just don’t want him scaring my son. Is that too much to ask?”

Manager: “Well, I’m not going to have you insult my staff. Either treat him like a human being, or leave this shop.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know why you hired someone like him to work on the till!”

Manager: “Okay, that’s it. Get out.”

(The customer and her child leave.)

Me: “Thank you!”

Manager: “Shush, just stay there. I’m going to the bakery to get you an apple turnover. You deserve something after dealing with her!”

Messy Customers

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Reminder: Crimes & Punishment Themed Story Giveaway

Not Always Right | Announcements, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month
Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
Enter Not Always Right’s March Themed Story Giveaway:
Crimes & Punishments!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

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