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  • Aisle Always Need Directions

    | Houston, TX, USA |

    Customer: “I just walked in to the auditorium to see [movie title], and the movie is already playing.”

    Me: “May I see your ticket stub?”

    (She shows me her ticket stub while I continue to tear other customers’ tickets.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you chose to see [movie] for the 2:15 showtime. Do you want to watch that movie for the next showtime? The next one won’t be playing until 5 PM.”

    Customer: *irritated* “But the movie has already started! I don’t know what to do!”

    Me: “Well, since you have missed the first 45 minutes of the movie, I can only get you to wait until the next showtime. That, or we can get you either a rain check or a refund.”

    Customer: “Then tell me. What do you want me to do?!”

    Me: “You’ll have to go back to the box office and have them exchange your ticket for another ticket for the 5:00 showtime, or have them get you your refunds.”

    Customer: *starts yelling* “But I don’t want to do that! The movie already has started! You need to tell me what do I do!”

    Me: “Let me get you the manager.”

    Customer: “You don’t know anything!” *walks away*

    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 3

    | Canada | Food & Drink

    (There are at least 10 people in the restaurant. I am the only person manning front counter, so when I finish bagging each order, I call out what I’m holding so the customer can come pick it up.)

    Me: “Cheeseburger combo. Cheeseburger combo!”

    Customer: *raises his hand*

    Me: “Cheeseburger combo?”

    Customer: *takes bag*

    (I continue taking orders and bagging them as they come up. Two minutes later, the customer that took the cheeseburger combo comes back.)

    Customer: “Hey, this is a cheeseburger combo. I ordered a chicken burger!”

    (I take the cheeseburger combo back from him and continue bagging orders. About a minute later, he has his chicken burger.)

    Me: *gives him his chicken burger*

    Customer: *gives me a condescending look and stomps off*

    Related:
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern
    To Whom This May (Not) Concern, Part 2

    Easy Sleazy Customers

    | Arizona, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I’m a waitress at a sushi place.)

    Me: “Well, thank you for coming in gentlemen. Have a great day!”

    Customer #1: “You were really great to us, so thank you.”

    Me: “Yeah, of course, anytime! You guys were easy to take care of!”

    Customer #2: “We were easy?”

    Me: “I didn’t mean it like that!”

    Customer #2: “It’s okay, I’d be easy for you! Have a great day.”

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    Someone Has Major Issues

    | New York City, NY, USA | School

    (I’m a peer advisor at my college, which includes figuring out what the student is looking for to best service them before we send them to an advisor. This conversation happens about 4-5 times a month.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Student: “I want to talk to an advisor.”

    Me: “Okay, about general education requirements or major requirements?”

    Student: “Major requirements.”

    Me: “Okay, for that you actually have to go to the major department and meet with an advisor there. We can only cover general education requirements here.”

    Student: “But I want to speak to an advisor.”

    Me: “Yeah, but for that you have to speak to someone in that department.”

    Student: “Okay. Well, where is it?”

    Me: “The department?”

    Student: “That’s what I said.”

    Me: “Well, what’s your major?”

    Student: “Can I please just speak to an advisor?”

    Me: “Well, I can’t help you figure out where that is until you tell me what your major is.”

    Student: “I just want to talk to someone! Can’t I just see someone here?”

    Me: “Well, like I said, we can only advise you on your general education requirements, so—”

    Student: “Yes! That’s what I want to talk to someone about!”

    Me: “Okay, let me sign you in. Someone will be with you in just a bit.”

    (The student signs in and huffs off to a seat to wait. A coworker of mine takes the student after I’ve warned him about what happened. Less than a minute later, I see the student stomping out of our office. My coworker comes back to the front desk.)

    Me: “Major requirements?”

    Coworker: “Yup.”

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