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  • January 2013 Top Story Roundup

    Not Always Right | Roundups

    January 2013 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for the month of January!

    1. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Powers (4,458 thumbs up)
    2. Setting Mother Straight (4,161 thumbs up)
    3. This Boss Gets More Than Just The Check (4,039 thumbs up)
    4. Fighting Hate Is Everyone’s Job (3,653 thumbs up)
    5. Paging Insecurity (3,427 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Wales Is A Country Too

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Language & Words, Pets & Animals

    (The marine park where I work features a show starring beluga whales.)

    Guest: *runs up* “I need to find Belgium stadium!”

    Me: “I would be happy to help… what are you looking for again?”

    Guest: “BELGIUM STADIUM!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have a Belgium stadium. Belgium is a country in Europe.”

    Guest: “But I need to find Belgium Stadium! The show is about to start!”

    Me: *dawns on me* “Oh, do you mean Beluga Stadium? Like the big white whales?”

    Guest: “What the heck is a beluga? I want to see Belgiums!”

    Me: *gives up* “Right this way, sir…”

    If They Were Loud Then Pigs Would Fly

    | Layton, UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (My two friends and I are customers at a popular nationwide diner chain. It is around 1 am, and we are seated near a corner table, where three loud, obnoxious diners are seated with a sleeping infant in an open carrier. I am seated with my back to them and my two friends and are, for the most part, successfully ignoring them and quietly talking amongst ourselves. The only other customers in the restaurant are two twenty-something’s seated at a small table directly across the aisle from us doing nothing but reading and trying to ignore the obnoxious diners who are using some fairly vulgar language as they complain about their days. Not surprisingly, their loud cursing wakes up their infant. A few moments later, I feel something hit the back of my neck.)

    Me: *under my breath* “What the…” *reaching up to take the projectile off the back of my neck*

    Friend: “What is that?”

    Me: “…it’s bacon.”

    (Thinking the increasingly-upset child behind me had grabbed something off the diner’s plate and accidentally thrown it my way as its parents tried unsuccessfully to calm it, I set aside the bacon from the table behind me and continued trying to ignore the loud diners behind us, as they did not directly address us after the bacon had hit me. Five or ten minutes pass.)

    Loud female diner: *as she walks by our table* “THANKS FOR BEING LOUD!”

    (Her two male friends both give us dirty looks as they pass us and walk towards the front register. We sit and stare in stunned silence. As the lady with the baby pays, we watch her rant to our exhausted waitress and pointing to us. When they finally leave, our waitress came over to us.)

    Me: “What was that all about?!”

    Waitress: “They apparently were blaming you for waking up their baby.”

    Reading customer: “For what it’s worth, we didn’t even realize you guys were there until they yelled at you!”

    Me: “You may want to watch out for them if they come back. They started throwing their bacon at me.”

    Waitress: *stunned* “I hate the night shift.”

    PEBCAK, Episode VI

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology, Top

    (I am a student worker at a college IT department. Most of our calls come from older professors who often have trouble with their machines. This call comes from a student.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [school] IT department. What can I do for you today?”

    Student: “Hello, yes, I’m trying to give a presentation in [classroom] but the projector won’t connect! It won’t show any image, you have to come right now!”

    Me: “Thank you for calling, I’ll be right over.”

    (I go to the classroom, and indeed, the projector says it can’t find any source. I check all the wiring, double check the projector, all while the class is waiting and the student is ranting.)

    Student: “I can’t believe this! IT never gets anything right! I’m going to send out an email to the whole school about this! Why can’t you get it to work? I have to give this presentation!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but everything is hooked up correctly, it should be working.”

    Professor: “Well, I guess we’ll just have to push all the presentations back.”

    (I suddenly realized I just assumed that someone my own age would know how to operate a computer, so I fall back on what I would do if this were a professor problem and go to open the cabinet where the computer tower is. I start to laugh as I realize the computer isn’t even turned on! I press the power button, and sure enough, the projector shows the start-up screen.)

    Student: “You got it to work! What did you do? What was wrong with it?”

    Me: “You didn’t turn on the computer.”

    (The rest of the class laughs and the student sheepishly thanks me and logs on to the computer as I leave.)

    Related:
    PEBCAK, Episode V

    A Taxing Conversation

    | Norwich, England, UK | Money, Top

    (My colleague is the customer in this transaction. He has received a letter from HM Revenue (British tax authority).)

    Colleague: “Hello, I am ringing about the letter I received stating the amount due to you is £1,400!”

    Tax assistant: “Well, I can help you with that. What seems to be the issue?”

    Colleague: *angry at this point* “The issue is that I have just received a letter telling me that I have to pay you £1400!”

    Tax assistant: *still being very polite* “Well, sir. Please calm down, let me say something.”

    Colleague: “Say something? What can you say that’s going to resolve this problem?”

    Tax assistant: “How about, the check is in the post and you don’t owe us a penny?”

    Colleague: “Oh.”

    Tax assistant: “I thought that might help a little. If you had read the letter clearly you would have seen that it says ‘Amount due to you is £1,400.’”

    Colleague: “Oh… erm… I’m really sorry for being a jerk.”

    (I have never laughed so hard in my life.)

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