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    Placebo Me, Part 4

    | Bowling Green, OH, USA |

    (I’m at the service desk helping a few guests that come up for returns and such. A lady holding a “Lion King DVD Edition” and her receipt approaches)

    Me: “Good evening, ma’am! What can I do for you tonight?”

    Customer: “I need to exchange this for a DVD. I don’t want the Blu-Ray.”

    (I look at the box. It is indeed the DVD version of the “Lion King” movie, as it says in bold lettering at the top “DVD EDITION”. There is a small sticker on the cover that states “Also in Blu-Ray Combo Packs”)

    Me: “Well, ma’am, it looks like you already have the DVD version. It says right at the top here–“

    Customer: “No! I don’t want the Blu-Ray version! I called in! Give me the DVD version instead of this Blu-Ray.”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am, it’s just a sticker that says it’s there’s also a Blu-Ray version–“

    Customer: “NO! I want the DVD version!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, let me head back to the department and see if I can find the DVD version. Just give me a second.”

    (I take the movie back to the department and peel back the sticker, removing it. I then go back to the desk, handing her back the movie without the sticker)

    Me: “Here you are, ma’am. Sorry about that.”

    Customer: “It’s about time! Thank you!”

    (She leaves in a huff, grumbling about blu-ray movies.)

    Related:
    Placebo Me, Part 3
    Placebo Me, Part 2
    Placebo Me

    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 5

    | Maryland, USA | Language & Words

    Customer: “Do you have any fecal heart monitors?”

    Me: “Uh…what?”

    Customer: “You know, to hear the baby while it’s still in the womb?”

    Me: “That would be a fetal heart monitor. Right this way…”

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation

    It’s The Secret Sauce

    | Orem, UT, USA | Food & Drink

    (I take to-go orders over the phone. This was a call from one of our daily customers.)

    Customer: “I was also wondering if you had areola sauce.”

    Me: “Um…sorry. What was that?”

    Customer: “Areola sauce! Someone’s asking for it.”

    Me: *trying not to laugh*

    (In the background, someone yells and everyone starts laughing.)

    Customer: “Oh God! Is that what I said? Well, s***. That’s definitely not what I want.”

    (After nearly ten minutes of laughing and getting nowhere in their order, the phone gets passed around until someone can stop laughing long enough to talk. I gave them some free dessert for making my week.)

    Papa’s Not Home

    , | Niceville, FL, USA | Food & Drink

    (This takes place between my manager and a customer over the phone.)

    Caller: “Hey, is John there?”

    Manager: “Sorry sir, this is [pizza place]. There’s no John here.”

    Caller: “Stop playin’, John, we’re supposed to go to the movies soon.”

    Manager: “Sir, seriously, this is [pizza place]. I think you may have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “Well, crap! Do y’all have any deals?”

    Manager: “Well, you can get a large 3 topping and a 2-liter for $10.60.”

    Caller: “D***, that’s better than John!”

    Manager: “Yes, sir, it sure is.”

    Not Always Right: Story of the Year

    | Not Always Right |

    Not Always Right: Story of the YearHappy New Year, folks!

    We know customers have driven you crazy in 2011, but we’d like to thank you for taking the time out of your busy days to read and share your stories!

    In celebration of the New Year, we’re asking you to vote on the Not Always Right Story of the Year!

    Step #1: Below are 3 of the top stories for 2011. Read each story by clicking on its link. Then, return to this page for Step #2.

    Step #2: Place your vote below.

    Sorry, there are no polls available at the moment.

    Don’t forget to share the stories above with your friends and ask them to vote on the story they think is the funniest!

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