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    They Sneak Up On Ya

    | Prince Rupert, BC, Canada | Tourists/Travel

    Customer: “Hey, are there any Indian attacks on this village?”

    Me: *taken aback* “Um. No. No, there are not.”

    Customer: “Well, what about the sign?”

    Me: “What sign?”

    Customer: “The sign that says ‘Watch Out For Ava-LAN-cheez’.”

    (From his pronunciation, it’s clear what he’s actually referring to are Apaches, not avalanches.)

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Um, no…they never attack our small village anymore.”

    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 5

    | Jackson, WY, USA | Food & Drink

    Me: “All of today’s specials and all of the sandwiches on the menu come with your choice of soup or salad or potato salad. What can I get for you today, sir?”

    Customer: “You say that the sandwiches come with salad?”

    Me: “That’s correct. So do all of the specials. You can get soup, salad, or potato salad.”

    Customer: *pointing to the sandwich side of the menu* “So, all of these come with salad?”

    Me: “Yup, or soup or potato salad. All of ‘em.”

    Customer: “What about this option?” *pointing to a particular sandwich* “Does this come with salad?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, that one too. You can also choose soup or potato salad.”

    Customer: “I’ll have that one, then.”

    Me: “Okay, what would you like as your side?”

    Customer: “What are my choices?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Related:
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 4
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 3
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition, Part 2
    Stupidity Is The Mother Of Repetition

    Don’t Mess With Gamer Chicks

    | Massachusetts, USA | Top

    (A very busty, bubbly young woman comes in to buy a pre-owned copy of Resident Evil 4.)

    Woman: “My stupid ex-boyfriend took all my games when he moved out! He doesn’t even like Resident Evil!”

    Me: “Wow, that sucks.”

    Woman: “It’s fine. I hooked up with his brother. I don’t start s***, I end it. Mess with my games and it is ON.”

    Me: *laughing*

    (I ended up giving her a discount.)

    D Is For Definitely Shiny

    | Wyckoff, NJ, USA |

    (A customer walks to my register with a Halloween decoration in tow. It’s a cheap cardboard statue of a cartoon-looking black cat covered in a shiny plastic material.)

    Customer: “So, why is this 3D?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    (I peer at the tag. It says “3D Cat”.)

    Me: “Oh, that’s because it’s 3D.”

    Customer: “No, I mean why is it ‘D’? Is it because it’s shiny?”

    (A multitude of thoughts are racing through my head at this point. I debate the prospect of explaining to her what 3D actually means. In the end, I decide it’s easier to just agree with her.)

    Me: “Exactly! It’s really sparkly and that’s why it’s called a 3D cat. Would you like to purchase it?”

    Customer: “Oh, definitely!”

    Forever Dumb

    | Wisconsin, USA |

    Customer: “I am wondering: how long are the ‘forever’ stamps good for?”

    Me: “They are good forever.”

    Customer: “So, I can still use them when the rate goes up? I don’t have to throw them away?”

    Me: “They are ‘forever’ stamps. They can be used ‘forever’, regardless if the rate goes up.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I wasn’t sure what was meant by ‘forever’…”


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