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    A Game Of Kat And Birdie

    | Georgia, USA | Funny Names

    (I work at a pharmacy and we are very busy, causing a few customers having to wait. The last woman in line finally steps up.)

    Me: “I apologize for your wait. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Does your name tag say your name is Kat?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Did you have some crazy new age parents or something? Why would they name you after an animal? That’s just dumb! You should have a good sturdy name, like mine!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but what can I help you with?”

    Customer: “I need a refill.”

    Me: “Of course. Can I get your date of birth?”

    Customer: *gives me her date of birth* “And the prescription is under Birdie.”

    Me: “Okay, it’s put in and will be ready in 15 minutes.”

    Customer: “Thank you. I’m sorry you have such a foolish name.”

    Pharmacist: “Did that woman just tell you your name was foolish and complain about people with “animal” names?”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Pharmacist: “But her name was Birdie…”

    Future Budget Oversight Leaders Of America

    | USA | Family & Kids

    (I overhear a little boy around five years old asking his mother for lots of expensive toys.)

    Mother: “We can’t afford six. Just pick one and put the rest back.”

    Boy: “Just tell daddy to stop drinking beer this month!”

    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 6

    | Washington, USA |

    (A customer who doesn’t have an account wishes to cash a check drawn on the bank. However, because it’s a very large check, I am unable to complete the transaction without speaking to the maker of the check.)

    Customer: *angry* “Give me something that says you can’t negotiate this check!”

    Me: “I don’t have any kind of declined transaction form. Here’s your check back.”

    (As I attempt to explain, the customer becomes more and more hostile.)

    Customer: “I’d better speak to the vice president, or I’m calling the police!”

    (I call the police.)

    Me: “Okay, they’re on their way.”

    Customer: *confused* “…who is?”

    Me: “The police.”

    Customer: *scared* “Wait, I didn’t say to call the police!”

    Related:
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 5
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 4
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 3
    Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 2
    Be Careful What You Ask For

    Don’t Forget To Stock Up On Salmon Cartridges

    | Hagerstown, MD, USA | Technology

    (A customer is sent back to my department to find ink for her printer.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am. Do you need black or color?”

    Customer: “I need cayenne.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know which color you mean. We have cyan; that’s a light blue.”

    Customer: “No, I need cayenne. You know, like a peppery red.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t believe we have that color.”

    (The customer bends over to get a closer look at the ink.)

    Customer: “Hmmm, margarine.” *looking at the magenta* “Yellow…I don’t see cayenne.”

    Me: “Are you sure you don’t mean cyan? It kinda sounds like cayenne.”

    Customer: “No, I need red. My printer is out of red. Why wouldn’t you carry red ink?!” *walks out of the store before I can explain further*

    Questionable Questioning

    | England, UK | Language & Words

    (I am in the concessions stand selling nachos.)

    Me: “Do you want jalapeños?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why is jalapeños pronounced like it has an ‘h’ in the beginning?”

    Me: “I believe it’s a Spanish word.”

    Customer: *indignant* “Well, I don’t really care.”

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