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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    The Dumb And The Dubious

    | The Netherlands | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a car wash that often sees high-end vehicles such as Ferraris. In fact, we get so much people staring that we’d actually had to change our exit to the road as people always bunched up around the cars making exiting difficult. The exit is very well signed, with big white lines being drawn; not a single accident has happened. However, one day, someone in a very banged-up Volkswagen wants to save time by driving into the exit so he could get to the pump quicker, but drives straight into a brand new Ferrari.)

    Volkswagen Driver: “My car! Look at what you have done to my car!”

    Ferrari Driver: “Pardon me?!”

    Volkswagen Driver: “Look at what you have done to my car with your s*** Lamborghini!”

    Ferrari Driver: “First of all, this is a Ferrari. Secondly, I honestly can’t tell if the big dent in your car was there to begin with or not. Judging by the state of your vehicle, it must have been. But, seeing how you have damaged my vehicle, we are going to have a problem.”

    Volkswagen Driver: “Pssh. Your car isn’t worth half of mine! See the audio equipment in my baby, buddy? 500 Euros!”

    (The Ferrari driver gets on his phone as the Volkswagen driver continues to rant about how that ‘piece of s*** Porsche’ ruined his car. Sure enough, the police arrive and take statements. Once they take the Ferrari owner’s statement and review our security footage, the Volkswagen driver is blamed.)

    Volkswagen Driver: “F*** you, a**holes!” I’m not going to pay for that wreck!”

    Police Officer: “You certainly are, but we’ll discuss that on the station.”

    Volkswagen Driver: “Why?!”

    Police Officer: “Well, to start with, you’ve given us false details. Following that, you caused an accident and refused to settle this correctly whilst clearly being to blame. Following that, we have done a check on your vehicle and it’s uninsured. Also, you don’t have a licence and you’re wanted for two hit and runs.”

    (At that moment the Volkswagen driver starts to run. His mistake is trying to run past the Ferrari driver, who has been calm and collected through the whole ordeal. Without a single second thought, the Ferrari driver takes a swing at the Volkswagen driver; who gets hit in the stomach and collapses for the police officers to arrest him. We learn that the Volkswagen driver was put in jail for four years for various offences, while the Ferrari driver was let off with a warning.)

    A Free Cup Of Kindness

    | Redondo Beach, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am having a pretty rough time, and I am not looking forward to work. I work in a small taco shack near the beach. My customers are often inexplicably rude, with a few exceptions. A girl walks up to the counter, and before I can ask what she wants to order she grins at me. Her smile is so genuine, I’m speechless.)

    Girl: “How are you today?”

    (I’m really surprised at this point.)

    Me: “I’m, uh, I’m pretty good, thank you.”

    Girl: “Oh, that’s good.” *smiles again*

    Me: “Thank you… uh, what can I get you?”

    Girl: “Oh, hmm… can I have a chicken taco and small drink, please?”

    Me: “Sure, that will be 4.95.”

    Girl: *digs through her purse* “I only have $4.02. Can I take off the drink, please?”

    Me: “Oh yeah, sure.”

    (I hand her the receipt and a empty drink cup.)

    Girl: *surprised* “Wait, I asked to take the drink off.”

    Me: “I did. You made my day a whole lot better just by asking how I was and giving me a smile. Least I can do is buy you a drink!”

    (She thanks me and gives me her prettiest smile yet before walking away. People should realize the difference a smile can make. It can change an employee’s whole day!)

    Putting The X Into Xmas

    | Australia | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem

    (I work at a small town airport where, every year, we have a small talent contest. Although I do usually work at the flights desk, I am on talent duty, announcing all contestants. The prize for winning the contest is a flight to a destination of your choice within Australia.)

    Me: “Thank you to Waldo the Wizard for showing us his amazing magic tricks. Now, for our last act, we have The Anonymous Singer!”

    (Claps of applause.)

    Anonymous Singer: *pompous* “Thank you very much. I will be singing my own person version of Jingle Bells.”

    (The anonymous singer proceeds to sing a very crude and racist version of ‘Jingle Bells’, leaving the audience and I in stunned silence.)

    Anonymous Singer: “Well? I demand my prize!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I am disqualifying you for the use crude language.”

    Anonymous Singer: “I demand a flight to New York to show off my talent!”

    Me: “I cannot allow you to be in this airport. I must ask you to leave.”

    (He begins to sing the song again when an audience member stops him.)

    Audience Member: “Right, you’re coming with me!”

    (The audience member is about 6 foot, and looks like a body builder. He literally picks up the anonymous singer and carries her away.)

    Anonymous Singer: *screaming* “I’m never coming back! You will never hear my talented voice ever again!”

    Me: “Thank God for that!”

    Better Make It A Double

    | Ipswich, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top, Underaged

    (I am working in a pub, and my sister, my identical twin, has come in to say hello during a busy period. She has queued, and I have served her an alcoholic drink. I am just handing it over when this conversation starts.)

    Customer: “You didn’t check the ID of this girl. She doesn’t look old enough to drink. I demand you check her ID!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, but I can assure you that she is old enough to drink.”

    Customer: “She is only about 12! She is nowhere old enough to drink. I will call the police if you do not check her ID!”

    Me: “Sir, she is old enough to drink. She is my sister, and I can assure you that she is 20 years old.”

    Customer: “If you won’t check her ID, I am going to call the police!”

    (The customer takes his phone out and makes a show of dialing. My sister looks embarrassed, but pays for her drink, shows me her driving license as she does look young, and takes a seat at the bar.)

    Me: “See? My sister is old enough to drink.”

    Customer: “No! You’re breaking the law!” *to everyone around us* “She’s breaking the law!”

    (Hearing the commotion, security comes.)

    Security: “What is the trouble, sir?”

    Customer: “That girl has served a drink to an underage customer! She used a fake ID; I saw her!”

    Security: “Sir, can’t you see the resemblance? The girl serving you is the identical twin of this customer. If she is old enough to serve you drinks, her twin is old enough to drink, too.”

    Customer: *muttering* “Well… she doesn’t look as old as she does!” *leaves*

    Nothing’s Gonna Save His Sole

    | VA, USA | Religion, Rude & Risque

    (I work at a religious call center that takes prayer requests for the people who call in. It’s late on Sunday night.)

    Caller: “Hi, I want prayer.”

    Me: “Certainly, sir. What can I pray for you?”

    Caller: “Are you wearing shoes?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I am wearing shoes. What can I pray for you?”

    Caller: “Can you take your shoes off?”

    Me: “No, sir, we have a dress code. I can’t take my shoes off. ”

    Caller: “Are you wearing high heels?”

    Me: “No, sir. What can I pray for you?”

    Caller: “What shoes are you wearing?” *in rapid succession* “Sandals, sling backs, sneakers, flip flops—”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t talk about my shoes with you.”

    Caller: *click*

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