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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    The ETA Is Up In The Air

    | USA | Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Thank you for calling [airline]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “What time will flight [number] to [city] arrive?”

    (I look up the flight in the system, which shows that it’s expected to arrive right about now.)

    Me: “That flight is expected to arrive at [time].”

    Caller: “Well, I’m calling from the plane, and we’re not landing yet.”

    Me: “If you’re on the plane, you probably have more up-to-date information than I do. One of the flight attendants should be able to tell you when you’ll arrive.”

    Caller: “I have to go. The flight attendants are yelling at me for talking on my cell phone!”

    (The call abruptly ends.)

    Facebook Page Book Giveaway: Week 4

    | Facebook |

    As part of our ongoing Facebook page launch celebration, we’ll be giving away a total of 10 copies of the official Not Always Right book.

    Note: Next week’s drawing will be our last, so be sure to like our page before 12:01 am PST on Monday, August 8, 2011 to qualify!

    To enter into our weekly drawing, simply like our Facebook page and you’ll automatically be entered. Two winners will be announced each week on our site, FB, and Twitter.

    The winners of this week’s Facebook Page Book Giveaway are Xander and Heather — congratulations! They’ll each receive a free copy of our book via Amazon. Xander and Heather — a Not Always Right staff member will be contacting you soon via Facebook so you can receive your book.

    PS – if you liked our page before the announcement of this contest, you’re already qualified — anyone who likes our page will automatically be entered!

    How About A Pound Of Cherries For A Pound Of Money

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    Customer: “How much are the cherries?”

    Me: “$3.49 a pound.”

    Customer: “Okay. Well, I have a pound. How much is it?”

    Me: “$3.49.”

    Customer: “Why? Shouldn’t it be less?”

    Me: “It’s $3.49 a pound. You have a pound, so it’s $3.49.”

    Customer: “No, that doesn’t make sense. Just take them off!”

    Curiosity Kilt The (Peeping Tom)Cat

    | New Jersey, USA | Rude & Risque, Top

    (I’m working mall security when a hysterical woman comes up to me. She’s making no sense, but she keeps mentioning the word ‘quilt’.)

    Customer: “Quick! Quick!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please calm down and tell me what’s going on.”

    (The customer finally composes herself enough to form coherent sentences.)

    Customer: “There’s a man walking around in a quilt with nothing underneath it! You have to throw him out!”

    (Thinking she means there’s a flasher in the mall, I follow her to the food court. The customer grows more hysterical as we approach. There is nobody matching her description.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t–”

    (She angrily points at a man in Scottish attire quietly enjoying a coffee.)

    Customer: “There he is! He’s scaring the children walking around like that!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please stop shouting. There is nothing illegal about his way of dress and there certainly is no telling whether or not he’s wearing anything underneath.”

    (At this point the man in question approaches us.)

    Man: “I wish to lodge a complaint against this woman. She’s been following me around and trying to get a look at…well…” *gestures at his kilt*

    Me: “Ma’am, is this true?”

    (The woman turns bright red and starts fidgeting uncomfortably.)

    Customer: “Well, I…but…what about the children?!” *storms off*

    No Bar And No Bite

    | Portsmouth, NH, USA | Liars & Scammers

    (A customer is trying to return an opened CD. This is against store policy, which is clearly stated on a poster in the store and is printed on every receipt. While discussing this with the customer, I notice a name tag from a local pet store on his shirt.)

    Customer: “You have to give me a refund! I’m a lawyer and I know my rights!”

    Me: *giggles*

    Customer: “What’s so funny? I will sue you and I will sue this whole company! Give me my refund!”

    Me: “You’re a lawyer?”

    Customer: “Of course! Are you calling me a liar? I’ll sue you!”

    Me: “So, do you work at [pet store] between cases or is that just a fashion statement?” *points to the name tag*

    Customer: “Uh…well…you see…”

    Me: “Isn’t it illegal to impersonate a lawyer?”

    Customer: “Never mind!”

    (The ‘lawyer’ grabs the CD and walks out of the store with his head hanging.)


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