Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Calling At All Stations To The 19th Century
    (1,563 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Numerical Nincompoops

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Top

    Me: “Good morning! You’re through to [name]. Can I take your plan number, please?”

    Customer: “I don’t have a plan number. What’s that?”

    Me: “It’s on your statement and begins with the number ’14′, then a dash.”

    Customer: “I’m looking at my statement and there isn’t one.”

    Me: “It’s about half way down on the right hand side and begins with ’14′ dash.”

    Customer: “There isn’t one. I can see where it says plan type, but that’s it.”

    Me: “Okay, it says the plan type on the left. The plan number is just to the right of it, starting with ’14′ and a dash.”

    Customer: “There isn’t one. There is no number beginning with ’14′. Are you calling me a liar?”

    Me: “No, I’m not calling you a liar, but if it is a statement you are looking at, then I promise it’s on the right side, half way down. It starts with ’14′.”

    Customer: “There bloody well isn’t! The only number on here starts ’1′, ’4′, and a dash. Can’t you take that?”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll take that instead!”

    Weighs On Your Conscience And Your Scale

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Food & Drink

    (Since it’s my first day, I’m shadowing another employee at the cash register, putting in every order she takes from the customer. An hour in, a woman in her 40s and her husband come in. Note our sugar-free items are advertised as “guilt-free.” )

    Coworker: “Good afternoon and welcome to [coffee shop]! What can we make for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes I’d like a guilt-free sugar cookie latte and [frozen coffee] with guilt-free vanilla syrup.”

    Coworker: *repeating order for my benefit* “So, that’s a sugar-free sugar cookie latte and frozen coffee with sugar free vanilla?”

    Customer: *frowning* “No, a guilt-free latte and a guilt-free frozen coffee!”

    Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, a sugar-free latte and frozen coffee. Will that be all?

    Customer: “No! No! No! It’s GUILT-FREE! Turn around and read your menu board! GUILT. FREE.”

    (At this point I’m scared and just tell the coworker to use the term so she’ll go away.)

    Coworker: “Sorry, that’s a guilt-free latte and a frozen coffee with guilt-free vanilla syrup, yes?”

    Customer: “YES! Finally!”

    (I ring her up and charge her card. Her husband comes to the counter to place his own order.)

    Customer’s husband: “I just want a hot chocolate, young lady.”

    Customer, to her husband: “You’re fat! Get it GUILT-free!” *smacks him with her purse*

    Inexorably Inconsiderate

    , | Guelph, ON, Canada |

    (The customer is four cents short for his order.)

    Customer, to friend: “Hey man, do you have a nickel or something?”

    Friend: “Yeah man, here.”

    Customer: “No, that’s okay. I’ll just get some out of here.”

    (He reaches into the tip jar.)

    Customer: “Can I just take out four cents from in here?”

    Me: “Um, no. That’s actually our tip jar–”

    Customer: “Too late. It’s happening.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Similar Tool, Different Outcome

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Rude & Risque

    (I am working at an Arts and Crafts store. I am talking to a coworker when I see an older woman come up to the counter.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you find something?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you have anything I can use to shave balls? ”

    (There is an awkward silence between the customer and I while I process what she is asking her. Finally, she chimes in, elaborating.)

    Customer: “Off of sweaters?”

    (I realize that she is talking about a device to remove sweater pills, the little fuzzy dots that sometimes appear after washing.)

    Me: “Oh! This way please.”

    (I take her over to the yarn section and help her find what she is looking for. I walk back over to my coworker.)

    Me: “Is it just me or did it sound like she was asking for–”

    Coworker: “Yeah, it definitely did!”

    Keep That Style To Yourself

    , | Stockton, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (I take orders at a fast food restaurant. We have a secret menu with special type of fry we call “animal style”, which is pretty popular. A customer walks up.)

    Me: “Hi, how are you doing today? How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I have heard about this secret style french fry you guys make. Could I have one order of french fries, doggy style, please?”

    Me: “Um…do you mean animal style fries?”

    Customer: *turning red* “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”

    Related:
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 4
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 3
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation, Part 2
    The Horrors Of Mispronunciation


    Page 979/2,068First...977978979980981...Last