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    Clothing That Just Takes Control

    | Miami, FL, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (Note: I work at a charity that accepts donations.)

    Customer: *quite loudly* “Where can I leave my domination clothing?”

    Me: *stares shocked*

    Customer: “That’s the wrong word, isn’t it?”

    Just Mildly Stupid

    , | Rochester, New York, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m taking a phone call for the pizzeria I work at. Everything is going fairly normal until the customer places an order for wings.)

    Me: “Okay, would you like you boneless wings or traditional wings?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Well, traditional wings are bone-in and boneless wings don’t have bones in them.”

    Customer: “Whatever, I just want them mild.”

    Me: “Okay, would you like that in our mild BBQ or mild buffalo sauce?”

    Customer: “No, just mild.”

    Me: “We carry a mild BBQ and a mild buffalo. Which could I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “No! I just want your traditional mild!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s one order of mild buffalo–”

    Customer: “NO! Just MILD!”

    Not Going To Qualify

    | Arizona, USA | School

    Student: “I’d like to know where your study guides are. I’m going to take a test.”

    Me: “Sure, which one?”

    Student: “The Mensa test. I need to know where your Mensa test study guides are.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. They don’t make those.”

    Student: “So, will you be getting some in soon?”

    Still In The Digital Dark Ages

    | Missouri, USA | Technology

    Me: “Thanks for calling [ISP]. I’m [name], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “There’s no light in my castle!”

    Me: *confused* “Uh…tell me a little more about the problem. Can you reach any websites?”

    Customer: “No! How can I get to a website with no light in my castle?!”

    Me: *still confused* “Could you explain…a little further?”

    Customer: *becoming irate* “I’ve poked its belly button a bunch of times, but there’s no light in my castle!”

    Me: *epiphany* “Oh! The power light on your desktop tower is not lit?”

    Customer: “Tower, castle, whatever! How am I supposed to know all this technical stuff?!”

    Can’t Get Her Out Of My Head

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre

    (It’s early in the morning and I’m half asleep. I’ve just stood up and turned around after stacking a shelf when I see a young guy rushing towards me.)

    Customer: *grabs me in a tight hug and whispers in my ear* “I’m Hulk Hogan and you’re Kylie Minogue. Who am I?”

    Customer’s brother: *out of breath after running behind him* “What have I told you about hugging people!”

    Me: “Right, then.”

    (I laugh and walk into the stockroom where one of my colleagues is working.)

    Me: “The weirdest thing just happened–”

    Coworker: “Oh, are you Kylie too?”

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