One Is Too Hot, One Is Too Cold, And The Customer Is Not Right

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I have just finished preparing some drinks for a guest.)

Me: “Alright, I’ve got two caramel macchiatos, one hot, one over ice, ready at the bar!”

(I put both drinks down, one in a hot cup, the other in an iced cup.)

Customer: “Excuse me, young man.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Are these my drinks?”

Me: “Those are two caramel macchiatos, sir. One hot, one iced.”

Customer: “Oh… okay.”

Me: “Is there a problem with your drinks, sir?”

Customer: “Err… which one’s the hot one?”

(I physically pause for a few seconds, to see if he’s joking with me.)

Me: “The hot one’s the hot one. The one over ice has the ice in the cup.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks! I never know what fancy coffee drinks you people make nowadays.”

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 4

, | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(It is late at night. I’m doing headset on all drive-thru lanes, and handling money by myself. I am talking to a customer at the window.)

Me: “Hello! Your total is $[total] tonight.”

(I take the money, and another car pulls up. I greet them while I count change.)

Me: “Good evening! Order when you are ready.”

(I turn back to the window.)

Me: “Here is your change, sir. Have a great night!”

Customer: “Why are you talking to yourself? Are you slow or something? I don’t want your kind handling my money!”

Me: “Uh… I was just greeting the customer who pulled up to the speaker.”

(As we are talking, I am typing in the next customer’s order.)

Customer: “I’m the only one here! What are you doing now? Hey! Answer me!”

(I am now ignoring the guy yelling at me through the closed window.)

Me: “Your total will be $[total] at your first window, ma’am. Please pull forward.”

Customer: *banging on the window* “You can’t ignore me! I’m a paying customer! Open the window!”

(I yell through the window.)

Me: “Please pull forward, sir! You are blocking the next customer.”

Customer: *suddenly very calm* “Okay, I’m sorry. But could I get another copy of my receipt? I dropped the one you gave me.”

(I oblige and print him a new receipt. When I open the window he suddenly grabs my arm and tries to pull me out of the window. My screaming alerts my manager, who pulls me back inside, and locks the window shut while the customer speeds off with their food.)

Manager: “What the h*** was all that about?! He nearly kidnapped you!”

(I don’t work nights anymore…)

Related:
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 3
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 2
On The Need For Hazard Pay

She Crossed The Line, Part 2

| Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

(I’m serving on the registers. There is an enormous line of people, so many of them have been waiting more than ten minutes to make their purchases. I look at the man at the front of the line and call him up. As he is walking up to my counter, an old woman with a walking frame, with remarkable speed, pushes through the adjacent layby line and throws her items at me, then turns and glares at the other man. The customer I called waves his hand at me to let her through. We both assumed that due to her age, she may not have realised that she came in the wrong way.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Get on with it.”

Me: “Uh, okay. So, just checking, are you just purchasing these today? I noticed you were in the layby line before.”

Customer: “Of course I’m bloody well buying them! Why else would I be here?”

(She puts more items on the counter, rudely shoving another customer’s stuff to the side, making some clothes fall on the ground. My coworker and I quickly pick up the items so they don’t get dusty.)

Customer: “Why were you helping her? You’re supposed to be serving me, but you’re not doing a very good job of it!”

Me: “Some clothes got knocked on to the floor, so I was picking them up to make sure they weren’t damaged. Now, I’m happy to put your items through. Just so you know, next time you actually need to line up over there. There is a big line waiting for the registers, but that nice man let you through.”

Customer: “Well how was I supposed to know where to line up? There are no signs.”

Me: “Well… there are around 30 people standing in the line that you just walked past. Also the wall just behind me says ‘Purchases: Pay Here’, while the one you were at says ‘Layby’.”

(I point to all the large signs, but the customer isn’t even looking where I am pointing.)

Customer: “You need to put signs up. That’s misleading.”

(I ignore the last bit, since I’ve already explained it to her. I finish putting her sale through.)

Me: “Alright then here’s your bag and receipt; have a nice day!”

Customer: “I won’t! Because you RUINED it!”

Other Customer’s Small Child: “Wow. What a crazy old bat!”

Related:
She Crossed The Line

Global Positioning Showers

| USA | Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body

(I am having an e-mail exchange with one of Parole Officers that refers me a lot of clients.)

Parole Officer: “Has [new client] shown up yet?”

Me: “He was supposed to come to me about a week ago, but nope, still nothing.”

Parole Officer: “Okay, he’s on his way. He’s not the brightest crayon in the box, so you might have to explain the procedures to him a few times.”

Me: “Cool, good to know.”

(Several minutes pass.)

Parole Officer: “He apparently can’t find you. He called me a few minutes ago to say he was in the shower. I am confused.”

Me: “That’s a new one.”

Parole Officer: “I know, right? Job security.”

Flying Off The Handle Will Get You Handled

| USA | Food & Drink, Money

(I handle our catering and delivery orders at my store. A customer wants her check split between two credit cards. The second card number doesn’t work. Unless it’s fixed before the driver leaves, we cannot send a receipt with the driver. The customer doesn’t answer when I call, or return my call before the driver leaves. The customer later calls, but she never got my message, and actually would like to place another order for the next day. I finish up with the order for tomorrow,before bringing up today’s order.)

Me: “While I have you, I actually called earlier and left a message. We had an issue with your charges today. Did you receive my message?”

Customer: “Oh? No, I’m out of my office.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. We had a small problem with one of your card numbers; whoever you spoke to may have copied it down incorrectly. The driver will be unable to bring you a physical copy of the receipt today, because we were unable to charge the card before he left. We will still be able to split the payment, and fax over a copy of your receipt for your records after he returns.”

(We go over the card numbers, and she gives me the number I needed. Whoever copied it added an extra zero into it.)

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. When our driver returns, I can fax over a copy of this receipt.”

Customer: “Can you e-mail the receipt?”

Me: “We can’t really e-mail receipts. They don’t show up in our system for a few days and we don’t really have a professional method of e-mailing them.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really have a fax number right now. Can I just call tomorrow with a fax number, and you can do it tomorrow?”

Me: “Sure, if that works for you, that’s fine.”

(When the driver returns, I split the payment and everything is fine. The next day, my coworker talks to the same woman on the phone when she calls to give us her fax number.)

Customer: “I’m very upset. I had to go through a lot of trouble to get my payment split yesterday.”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, our system isn’t designed to split payments, so it’s a little involved to make it work. I’m sorry you had so much trouble; what actually happened?”

Customer: “Well, I just wanted my payment split between two cards. It’s not difficult!”

Coworker: “Splitting a payment is not a normal function in our system. I’m sorry if you had some issues yesterday, but it seems to have worked out fine in the end.”

Customer: “Yes, well—”

Coworker: “I mean, was anything else wrong with your order? Was it late, or was the food not good?”

Customer: “No, it was on time. The food was fine.”

Coworker: “Did we forget anything with your order? You seem to have liked it enough to order with us again today, which we of course were happy to see.”

Customer: “Well, no, nothing was wrong with the order.”

Coworker: “So it was just getting your payment split that was a problem?”

Customer: “I was told that I could have my receipt e-mailed to me.”

Coworker: “I don’t know who you spoke to, but we aren’t readily able to e-mail receipts. They don’t show up in the system for a day or two and faxing them is really the fastest way to get them to you.”

Customer: “Well, this has just been such a hassle. I’m going to want to speak to a manager about this problem.”

Coworker: “Well, I am a manager, ma’am. What is it that I can help you with?”

Customer: “Oh… Well, that girl that I spoke to yesterday about this, she just really didn’t seem like she knew what she was doing at all.”

Coworker: “From what you’ve told me, she did everything exactly as she was supposed to do it. As I’ve said, splitting payments is not a normal function on our system.”

Customer: “I don’t know about that. She just seemed all over the place and unorganized. I think you really should talk to her about getting her act together.”

Coworker: “Well, ma’am, I really cannot see anything that she did incorrectly that I would need to speak with her about. Your order’s payments are accurately in the system, and split right down the middle. Is there anything else that I could do for you?”

Customer: “No, I guess not. Thank you.”

Coworker: “Thank you, ma’am. We’re happy that you enjoyed your lunch these past two days! Have a great day!”

(Later, I fax over her finalized receipt, with everything charged just the way she wanted it. I haven’t heard back from her yet!)

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