Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Necessity Is The Daughter Of Incomprehension

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids

    (A mom and daughter come up to my checkout. As I ring up the items, the mom notices the novelty pens by the register.)

    Customer: “How cute! Do you want one, honey?”

    Customer’s Daughter: “I don’t need one.”

    Customer: “That’s not what I asked. Do you want one? How often does your mom say that?”

    Customer’s Daughter: “I don’t need one.”

    Customer: “Look, they light up! Which color do you want?”

    Customer’s Daughter: “Doesn’t matter. I don’t need a pen.”

    Customer: “Choose a color or I’ll choose for you!”

    Customer’s Daughter: “Mom, you’re wasting money!”

    Customer: *to me* “We’ll take the blue one.”

    Episode 94: The Poser Menace

    | Greenville, SC, USA | Geeks Rule

    (I work at a video rental store and near our check out we have the boxed set of Star Wars on Blu-ray.)

    Customer: “Oh my God, Star Wars on Blu-ray! I love this movie so much!  I like how in the new ones, they put in the new Anakin Skywalker in the scene with the Jabberwockys on Earth!”

    Me: “…you mean Ewoks on Endor?”

    Customer: “Oh yeah, that’s what they’re called…”

    Embarrassingly Empathic

    | Idaho Falls, ID, USA |

    (I have a picture of my husband, daughter, and myself posted at my window. It is the picture we used for our wedding announcements. Customers often comment on what a nice picture it is. Recently I cut my hair several inches shorter.)

    Customer: *looking at the picture* “You have a very nice family.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    Customer: “You look different in the picture.”

    Me: “I recently cut my hair.”

    Customer: “It’s okay. You look younger in person.”

    Me: “Thank you?”

    Customer: “And don’t worry; I take bad pictures too!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Intelligence Doesn’t Quite Measure Up

    | Massachusetts, USA | Math & Science

    (Two coworkers and I are sitting around when a woman who appears to be approaching 60 years of age walks in. My newer coworker takes her order.)

    Coworker: “Hello, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, hi…I was wondering, how long is a footlong?”

    (We all think she’s joking.)

    Coworker: *holds hands up about a foot apart*

    Customer: *still confused* “Hmm…okay…uh, can I see one?”

    Try Our New De Caf Bonne Nuit Blend

    | UK | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: *angrily* “Get your manager. I have a complaint!”

    Me: “Of course, sir. Just a moment, please.”

    (I get the manager.)

    Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: *still angry* “Yesterday evening, I ordered six cups of coffee to go because I had work to do, but I fell asleep after an hour! My work is ruined! I’m going to sue your a**!”

    Manager: “What flavor did you order?”

    Customer: *thinks for a moment* “A french flavor…de Caf!”

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