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    Building A Case Against Her

    | BC, Canada | Books & Reading, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the toy department of a fairly large bookstore. For the past few weeks, we’ve been finding empty boxes of large Lego kits tucked away in the shelves. I notice a woman crouched down behind a display in the back corner, a large backpack at her feet, and a Lego box in her hands that she’s trying to open.)

    Me: “Hi there! Are you finding everything all right today?”

    Woman: “Oh, uh, yeah.”

    (The woman shuffles to her feet, and I start ‘tidying up’ a nearby display. She puts the box of Lego down and grabs her backpack. She wanders off to the teen section, and I keep a discreet eye on her as she grabs a book and sits down to read. I find my manager and tell him what happened. He approaches the customer, who is still reading.)

    Manager: “Hey there, I hear you like Lego.”

    Woman: “Uh…?”

    Manager: “My kid really likes Lego too. But he’s really disappointed when he opens the box and the pieces are all missing.”

    Woman: “Um…”

    Manager: “So, here’s what we’re going to do. You’re going to leave my store and not come back. If you do, I’ll have to call the police.”

    (The woman leaves the store, still flustered. We never saw her again. Mysteriously, the Lego stopped disappearing, too.)

    Putting Yourself Into An Awkward Superposition

    | West Lafayette, IN, USA | Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Math & Science, Top

    (I’m studying physics at a major university. I work at an ice cream store, and when we don’t have anything to do I usually do my reading for physics. A customer walks up to the counter to get a spoon, and then sees one of the diagrams in my physics book.)

    Customer: “Oh, you’re reading a picture book. I’m glad you found something that you’re smart enough to read. What’s it about?”

    Me: “String theory and theoretical quantum physics.”

    Customer: *long pause*

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; should I use smaller words? Maybe I could draw you a picture?”

    Customer: *quietly* “May I please have a spoon?”

    Perfectly Ruined

    the-customer-is-always-right-rage-comic

    Complain Somewhere Else

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    Some People Can’t Handle Their Sugar

    | Kansas City, KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am stocking coke in the aisle. A very perturbed customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Young man, my doctor said I can’t drink coke anymore.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”

    (I continue stocking the coke.)

    Customer: “Young man, I just told you that I can’t drink this stuff.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Would you like me to help you find something else?”

    Customer: “I said I can’t drink this stuff!”

    (She grabs a two-liter bottle and throws it to the ground. She puts her hand into the shelf behind the product and starts walking down the aisle, scooping all the soda on the floor.)

    Customer: “I can’t drink coke! I can’t drink coke!”

    (She begins stomping on the cans and bottles and kicking them around. By the time she’s worn herself out, the floor is covered. The cans are spraying little jets of cola. She looks at me, then over my shoulder at the liquor dept.)

    Customer: “He said I can’t drink whiskey either!”

    (She starts to charge the liquor dept. Thankfully, that is when the security guard steps in front of her, takes her hand, and leads her out of the store.)

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