I’ve Got That Drinking Feeling, Part 2

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(There is an annual bar crawl. The street is almost literally filled with people who can’t even stand. I am a customer waiting in line.)

Drunk Girl: “There… should be… more…”

(She is digging through her purse for cash.)

Drunk Girl: “Um…”

(The drunk girl hands the cashier her lighter and other various objects as she digs through her purse.)

Drunk Girl: “How much more do you need?”

Cashier: “$8.56.”

Drunk Girl: “Randy?”

(She starts looking around for her boyfriend, who has wandered off. Then she looks at me.)

Drunk Girl: “You’re not Randy… but can I owe you $8.56?”

(The cashier gives me a look of desperation. Seeing as this has been taking quite a long time, and I feel bad for the cashier, I take out my card to pay.)

Me: “Sure, add it together with my stuff.”

Drunk Girl: “Thank you!”

Me: “You’re welcome.”

(The drunk girl proceeds to just walk out of the store without her purse or groceries.)

Cashier & Me: “Miss! Your purse!”

(The cashier and I exchange looks.)

Me: “Good luck tonight.”

Cashier: “Thanks!”

Related:
I’ve Got That Drinking Feeling

He’s Not Taking Lying, Lying Down

| Norway | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Technology

(I work as a second line support, mostly dealing with emails from clients. One client is so nasty to my first line phone-support coworker, that she just cannot deal with him anymore. She begs me to take the call.)

Me: “Hi, this is [name]. I was told you had some questions about the legal binding of your contract, and therefore you were transferred to me. Would you please clarify what the issue is here?”

Client: “THIS F****** CHICK ON THE PHONE SAID THERE WOULD BE A F****** FEE IF I CHANGE MY PHONE PROVIDER! SHE’S F****** LYING! I WAS NEVER INFORMED THAT THIS—”

(He trails off and just screams profanities. I remain silent until he finally calms down.)

Client: “…um, hello?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am still here. However, as we will not be able to resolve anything while you are screaming at me, I figured I’d wait until you were finished. Anyway, from what I’ve gathered, you are upset that cancelling your contract will result in a cancellation fee?”

Client: “YES! I already changed provider, and you guys sent me the bill! I WAS NOT INFORMED!”

Me: “Well, sir, did you receive your information text? It can sometimes be hard to get all the information from—”

Client: “I DID NOT GET A TEXT! I WAS NOT INFORMED!”

(I decide to pull up his actual contract, to check what information he actually received. I go quiet for a bit.)

Client: “…um, hello?”

Me: “Sir, I just pulled up your contract here. You are one of our few clients who actually got your contract from one of our sales reps, on paper. Normally, they are given electronically over email or text. But you got the full contract, complete with all the information about our terms, on paper. You wrote down your details yourself, and signed it. How were you not informed?”

Client: “It did not say there were a cancellation fee!”

Me: “Yes, it does. Right under where you put down the phone numbers you wanted the agreement for. Where it also says how long you have to stay with us before you can change provider without the fee.”

Client: “But… I didn’t agree with that!”

Me: “You filled out the contract, checked of the box that said you had read, understood, and agreed to our terms of agreement, and signed the document.”

Client: “But… I didn’t read the terms of agreement!”

Me: “But you signed that you did.”

Client: “Well… but… You people should know that I was lying! I AM NOT PAYING THIS STUPID BILL!” *hangs up*

A Noteworthy Customer

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Teeny Tiny Meets Teenage Whiney

| USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Love/Romance, Rude & Risque, Top

(There is a young couple in my check-out line, followed by a handful of teenagers. The man is quite a bit taller than the woman, and he’s fairly muscular and intimidating. She’s very small, and unassuming. The teenagers are making a number of snide, extremely explicit comments to her.)

Teen #1: “D***, baby! You ought to learn how to service more than one man! A pretty little thing like you needs to be trained!”

(The other two teens high-five each other and laugh.)

Teen #2: “Yeah, man! With a fine b**** like you, a real man could find some use for that mouth!”

(She grabs her companion’s arm, and mutters something quiet to him. She then smiles at me as it’s their turn. They put their things on the counter.)

Me: “Hi there. Did you find everything you needed today?”

Teen #3: “Hey! B****! Don’t ignore us! Men are talking; you gotta learn some respect!”

(She smiles at me, but looks slightly annoyed.)

Woman: “Won’t you excuse me?”

(She turns around.)

Man: “Oh, boy.”

Woman: “If you EVER speak to me like that again, you never WILL become the men you’re arrogant enough to think you’ve already become. If you want to be treated like adults, and respected like adults, you act like adults and show other people respect. I feel sorry for your poor mothers. You are pathetic excuses for human beings. Go bother somebody else; come back when you’re ready to behave yourselves!”

(The man starts talking to me.)

Man: “The funny thing is, people think that because I’m physically bigger than she is, they should be afraid of me. Then they see her mad. She’s tiny, but she’s the scary one.”

Make Love Sandwiches Not War

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I am the overnight manager. It is a half an hour into my shift, and we are getting a bit busy in the deli area. The evening manager hasn’t left yet, so he is at the back helping the deli employee finish the hoagie orders that are still up on the board. A customer who has just picked up her food order stomps over to the register where I am working.)

Customer: “I’m not happy! When I come in here, I want my food made with love! I don’t want it just slapped together!”

Me: “…okay?”

Customer: “You don’t need to rush! I want my food made with care! If I am paying good money for this, I want it made with love!”

Me: “…okay?”

Customer: “This is a legitimate complaint! I can’t believe this! I am never shopping at this store again!” *stomps out*

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