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    I’m Tire’d Of These Calls

    | St. John's, NL, Canada |

    Me: “Sports department, [name] speaking.”

    Caller: “Can you transfer me to the jewelry department?”

    Me: “Uh, we don’t have a jewelry department.”

    Caller: “Yes, you do. Just put me through.”

    Me: “I’m pretty sure we don’t, ma’am. Let me ask.”

    (I’m fairly new, so I go to customer service and ask.)

    Me: “Yeah, sorry, ma’am. We definitely do not have a jewelry department.”

    Caller: “WHAT?! Wal-Mart doesn’t have a jewelry department anymore?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this isn’t Wal-Mart. This is Canadian Tire.”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Don’t Call About Not Calling

    | Scotland, UK | Bizarre

    (I am manning the phone line on a particularly busy night.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I got this letter from you which says I don’t need to contact you again unless I have any questions.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (The pause goes on for an uncomfortably long time while I wait for the customer to continue. Eventually, I crack.)

    Me: “Was there anything you’d like to go over?”

    Customer: “No, that’s okay.”

    (Another uncomfortably long silence.)

    Me: “Then, thanks very much for calling.”

    Customer: “No problem. Bye!” *hangs up*

    One Foto In The Grave

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids

    (I am working the photo center of a thrill ride, where people can look at and buy the photo taken of them in their ride car. An older couple comes up and orders their picture.)

    Older lady: “I don’t need a bag. My kids and grandkids are right over there.” *points to a corner of the store*

    Me: “Sure thing. Here’s your printed picture. How does it look?”

    Older lady: *taking the photo* “That’s great! They’re gonna love it when we’re dead!” *walks off*

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9

    | Odessa, TX, USA |

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you have that new Twilight movie Breaking Dawn?”

    (Note: as the customer asks this question, I am stocking a life-sized display case of Edward and Bella and have an armful of Breaking Dawn DVDs. The store is also filled with piles of Breaking Dawn pre-orders, Breaking Dawn promo merchandise, and several Breaking Dawn dozen posters advertising the movie’s DVD release. The customer looks right down at the Breaking Dawn DVD in my hand and, before I can answer him, he continues.)

    Customer: *sighs* “Oh, well. Guess not.” *turns around and leaves without another word*

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy

    Takes One To Joe One

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I’m a cashier at a coffee chain. Our location is popular so the line is usually long. I overhear the following conversation between two customers.)

    Customer #1: “Why is the line in this place always so long?! I’ll never understand it!”

    Customer #2: “Well, sir, do you like coffee?”

    Customer #1: “Of course! Why else would I be here?”

    Customer #2: “Well, could it be possible that there are other people who like coffee as well?”

    Customer #1: “Oh. Right.”

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