Management Is Like Walking A Tight-(G)rope

| The Hague, Netherlands | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

(I’m working the evening shift. The head waiter in another section of the restaurant tells me there’s a problem with some customer harassing the waitresses. I offer to switch places. The offending customer is quickly spotted; he is busy groping a waitress as I walk in.)

Me: “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask that you stop doing that. We’re trying to work here.”

(The customer grumbles, clearly irritated. I walk off, thinking it’s resolved. Five minutes later, I watch as a waitress comes to the customer’s table to put down some food, and the customer reaches out for the waitress’ behind. I jump between them.)

Me: “Sir, I already told you to stop it. You didn’t listen the first time. I’m now going to ask you to leave the restaurant.”

Customer: “I demand to see a manager!”

(I’m just a waiter, but I take a chance.)

Me: “That would be me. Now as I told you, the only solution I see is you leaving the restaurant.”

Customer: “I’m not going anywhere!”

Me: “No, you’re coming with me to the front right now. You’re going to pay for your meal and leave!”

(The customer is still refusing. With the aid of another waiter, we pull the customer out of his seat and bring him to the front, where he finally pays. The rest of his party are horribly embarrassed.)

Manager: “Yeah, I need to see you about something. You pretended to be a manager?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I—”

Manager: “I heard the story. That guy got off easy! I’m glad you managed to make him pay for his food!”

The Regular Is Very Regular

| Armstrong, BC, Canada | Health & Body

(One of our regular customers is a man in his 60s. He comes in every day for cigarettes or coffee.)

Regular: “I need to use your bathroom.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.”

(He heads to the back and enters the bathroom. I help some customers. A few minutes later he comes out.)

Regular: “You know, I had to go poo. I guess I wasn’t quite fast enough; I pulled down my pants and it just came out. I got half of it in my underwear, and caught some in my hands.”

(There is a long, awfully awkward silence between my coworker and I.)

Regular: “Well, I’ll see you later!

(He leaves.)

Coworker: “Don’t worry about cleaning the bathroom; you’re new. I’ll do it.”

(My coworker goes to clean the bathroom; I can hear him moaning.)

Coworker: “Eww! He got his mess in the sink! How could he do that? The sink is FOUR FEET away from the toilet!”

I’m Never Shopping Here Again

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Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2

| Memphis TN, USA | Bigotry, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I’m an employee in a hardware store. I’m helping a young married couple. The wife is wearing a flattering, but form-fitting top. An old couple standing nearby is complaining loudly.)

Old Lady: “Young people today are so lazy! That’s why they’ve all gotten fat; they’re sitting around playing video games! And it makes it worse when they wear clothes that don’t fit! People who are old enough to know better shouldn’t wear clothes that are too tight; they make them look fatter! That girl right there; look at her! You can see her stomach pooch!”

(The young wife places her hand over her belly.)

Young Wife: “I’m… PREGNANT.”

Old Lady: “I… I, um… Well, I wasn’t talking… Let’s go, honey!”

(She grabs her husband, and they quickly leave.)

Young Husband: “Just to confirm; we’re not pregnant, right?”

Young Wife: “Nope, but that’s what the old b**** gets for talking s*** about strangers in public.”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause

The Next Generation Versus The Last One

| IN, USA | Family & Kids

(I am visiting my friend. She has a lot of errands to run with her boyfriend. We go to the bank first. While they’re setting things up, I’m watching their daughter.)

Me: “Hey princess, what do you want to do while waiting?”

Friend’s Daughter: “Up!”

(I pick her up and twirl her around a few times while she giggles.)

Me: “Aww, you really like that! I’m gonna miss it when you’re too big for this.”

(A teller looks over and smiles at us.)

Teller: “She looks like a really happy kid.”

(I realize pretty quickly he thinks she is my daughter, but he’s being nice, so I don’t bother to correct him.)

Me: “Thanks!”

(As we talk, another customer is giving a disapproving glare both at my friend’s daughter, and at my hair, which is blonde at the ends.)

Customer: “You should be ashamed! Having a kid at your age, and setting such a bad example!”

(I’m stunned. I’m in my third year of college, and I realize I look younger than I am, but my friend’s daughter isn’t even two years old. My friends have finished with their deposit and head over.)

Me: “Hey princess, see mommy!”

Friend’s Daughter: “Mama!”

Friend: “Thanks for watching her!”

Me: “No problem!”

Customer: *embarrassed*

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