Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Vet Clinic]. How can I help you today?”
(Note: the caller sounds around 4 years old. )
Caller: “Hello, is Aunt Betty there?”
Me: “I’m sorry, would you mind repeating that?”
Caller: “Can I speak to Aunt Betty?”
Me: “I’m sorry, you have the wrong number.”
Caller: “Oh, Okay.”
Me: “Bye!”
(I hang up. 10 seconds later, the phone rings again.)
Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Vet Clinic], how can I help you today?”
Caller 2: “My niece just called here and must have got the wrong number.”
Me: *chuckling* “Yes she thought-”
Caller 2: “Well, next time don’t hang up on her!” *hangs up*
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Me: “Hello, how are you?”
Customer: “What country are you from?”
Me: “England.”
Customer: “Oh, no wonder you don’t speak English properly.”
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Me: “Your total is $152.37.”
(Customer begins to write out a deposit slip from the back of her chequebook.)
Me: “That’s a deposit slip, not a cheque.”
Customer: “Oh, so I can’t pay you with this?” *confused look*
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Oh, well take it out of this then.” *hands me a roll of cash* “But don’t take more that $75 out of there.”
Me: *takes $75 out of roll* “And how would you like to pay for the rest of this?”
Customer: “Umm…” *confused look* “I have to pay more?”
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Me: “So, your total comes to $47.63.”
(The customer swipes their card.)
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but it seems your card was declined.”
Customer: “Declined? Why?”
Me: “It says here because of ‘insufficient funds’.”
Customer: “But what does that even mean?”
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(I work for a well-known anti-virus company. An customer calls in to ask about the difference in her product and the other ones we carry.)
Caller: “So what about the cheapest one?”
Me: “It’s got the anti-virus protection, but it doesn’t protect you from net phishing.”
Caller: “I see, so what about the one that I’m using right now?”
Me: “Basically you’ve got both the anti-virus components and also a firewall, which is the recommended one for an average user.”
Caller: “Oh, I see. So the firewall will protect the computer from catching on fire?”
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