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    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 3

    | Livingston, NJ, USA | Math & Science, Money

    (I have just rung up a customer who is purchasing two items that are part of a two for $5 promotion in our store.)

    Customer: *sighing in exasperation* “You didn’t ring this up correctly. They’re supposed to be two for $5.”

    Me: “I’m sorry…I’m pretty sure the items came to $5 before tax. May I look at the receipt again to make sure?”

    Customer: “You think I don’t know what I’m talking about?”

    (The customer slams receipt on the counter and jabs her finger at the prices.)

    Customer: “See what I’m talking about?! You rang both items up at $2.50!”

    Me: “Yes. $2.50 plus $2.50 is $5.”

    Customer: “Whatever! You aren’t worth my time!”

    Related:
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up, Part 2
    Some Things Just Don’t Add Up

    Don’t Make Me Clean Up This One

    | California, USA | Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “I love the f*** out of yogurt. I would make love to yogurt!”

    Me: *awkward laughter*

    (The customer picks her yogurt and I ring her up without any issues.)

    Customer: “Do y’all have a bathroom I can take this into?”

    A Screw (Or Two) Loose

    | Chester, UK |

    (A customer calls our shop phone. Usually the customers just call to check stock.)

    Me: “Hello, [store], how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “You owe me two screws!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I’ve just been in your shop and bought a box of screws. When I got home, there were two missing!”

    Me: “Sir, are you telling me you have opened and counted out an entire box of screws?”

    Customer: “Of course I did! There two missing! So, get somebody out to me now with the two screws that you owe me!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we can’t do that. Even if we could, we wouldn’t, because if you look on the side of the box it clearly states “Approximately 200 Screws”.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Deficiency Leads To Stupidity

    | Florida, USA | Food & Drink

    (In my store, we sell mainly natural real fruit smoothies, but we do have additions like vitamins, antioxidants, and whey protein. All of our additions are listed on our menu. A lady who looks to be in her mid 40s approaches my counter.)

    Me: “Hi there. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: *reading addition section* “What is protein?”

    Me: *thinking she unfamiliar with “whey”* “Well, it’s protein made from dairy that’s been processed into a powder. Ours is vanilla flavored, so it goes well with all of our fruits.”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah, but what is protein?”

    Me: *confused* “Protein? You mean the like the stuff you normally get from eating meat or eggs?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’ve never heard of it before. What is it?”

    You’re A Fine One To Talk

    | New Zealand | Bizarre

    (A customer comes in to pay for her gas.)

    Me: “Hello! Is it just the fuel today?”

    Customer: “Just tell me where to swipe my EFTPOS card.”

    Me: *points* “Just there, ma’am.”

    Customer: *swipes card and enters PIN number*

    Me: “Uh…that’s the wrong pin number. Sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, maybe if you weren’t yabbering away like an air-headed lunatic I could have concentrated and got it right!”

    Me: “I’m sorry! If you wouldn’t mind just re-entering your pin, please?”

    (Suddenly, the customer turns around to the other customers behind her and throws her hands in the air.)

    Customer: “And she’s still talking! GAWD, woman!”

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