Featured:
  • Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee
    (1,532 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Half-Life Is Stranger Than Fiction

    | OR, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule

    (The fun center where I work is having a big countdown celebration on New Year’s Eve, and I’m working the arcade. We serve alcohol to adult patrons. As we get closer to midnight, a man and a woman approach the counter. I game in my spare time, and the man in the pair looks exactly like Gordon Freeman from Half-Life.)

    Me: “How are you folks today?”

    Man: *inebriated* “Oh, look, a Speederman tattoo. Can I get that?” *he should have said Spiderman*

    Woman: “Sure.”

    (She gives me her tickets, and I give him the tattoo. He is ecstatic about it.)

    Man: “Speederman! This is so awesome! I’m gonna put it on!” *starts stripping*

    Me: “Sir!”

    Woman: “What are you doing?”

    Man: “Speederman!”

    (She manages to convince him to put his shirt back on, and I had to turn away so they wouldn’t see me laughing. To this day, I refer to that as the New Year’s Eve when I saw Gordon Freeman stripping for Spiderman.)

    Policy No Evil, Speak No Evil

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (The call centre I work at specializes in roadside assistance. We have a script to follow to ensure that we get the customer the proper service. This call comes in at 9:20, ten minutes before the end of my shift.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling roadside assistance. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “My car won’t open!”

    Me: “Okay, I can certainly help with that. May I have your policy number?”

    Caller: “Why do you need that?”

    Me: “So I can access your policy and confirm coverage.”

    Caller: “Fine! It’s [number].”

    Me: “Thank you. And may I have your first and last name?”

    Caller: “Just send someone!”

    Me: “I’d be happy to, ma’am, but first I need to verify the information in our files.”

    Caller: “I gave you my policy number! You don’t need anything else!”

    (We actually can’t go forward in the program without the customer’s name. I explain that to her and she eventually confirms her name.)

    Me: “I’m showing that you’re in Texas. And what is the year, make, and model of your vehicle, ma’am?”

    Caller: “You don’t need that! Stop asking so many questions! Just unlock my car!”

    Me: “Ma’am, in order to send out service, we have to know what type of vehicle needs to be unlocked. Different vehicles require different equipment.”

    (She argues with me for 5 more minutes. At this point, I am supposed to be off about 20 minutes ago. She finally confirms the vehicle.)

    Me: “What colour is that vehicle?”

    Caller: “God d*** it! Why are you asking so many questions?! I use this service all the time! They never ask me so many questions! Send me service now!”

    Me: *losing patience* “Look, Ms. [name]. We are required to ask these questions on every single call, so when you called us last time, you were most definitely asked all of this. If you want me to send someone to you right now, they’ll never find you because not only will they not know what car to look for, but they’ll be driving around the whole of Texas, since you haven’t told me where you are. Now, if you’ll answer the rest of my questions, I can dispatch someone to your location. Otherwise, I suggest you find a large rock.”

    (After that, she answered every question with no problem, and I found a locksmith who could be there in 15 minutes. The next day, I got an email from another rep saying that the woman had called back in to apologize for how she treated me!)

    A Good Day Is A Bad Offense

    | Pasadena, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (As I am ringing up a customer at my register, I try and make conversation.)

    Me: “How’s your day going?”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “How’s your day going?”

    Customer: “What an absurd thing to ask someone you don’t even know! How dare you!”

    Me: “Okay? I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “I don’t care, don’t ever ask something like that again!”

    Me: “Bye.”

    (I guess she was having a bad day.)

    Phoned Then Owned

    | Forster, NSW, Australia | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the deli department of my local supermarket, and am calling out the numbers of the tickets.)

    Me: “Number 24? Does anybody have ticket number 24? Anybody at all?”

    (At this point, I think someone might have grabbed two tickets by accident off the ticket dispenser and decide to skip ahead to the next number.)

    Me: “Oh well, then… number 25?”

    (The customer with ticket 25 starts ordering what she wants, when suddenly the customer with ticket 24 storms over. She has clearly been on the phone.)

    Customer #24: *huffed voice* “Excuse me? I was before this lady. I was number 24!”

    Me: “Just one second, ma’am. I’ll serve you after this customer.”

    (Customer #25 smiles shyly at me.)

    Customer #24: “Well, I was before this lady!” *puts a rude smirk when referring to her* “Clearly, because I was number 24!”

    Me: “Well, I was calling your number for a good while before I started serving this lady. You weren’t even at the deli counter.”

    Customer #24: “I WAS STILL FIRST!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you just let me serve this customer quickly, I’ll get to you in just a—”

    (Suddenly, Customer #25 decides they’ve had enough of Customer #24 and speaks up in my defense.)

    Customer #25: “Well, how the bloody h*** is he supposed to know he’s skipped someone when nobody answers his calls?! How’s he supposed to know you’re off in another aisle on the phone? You know it’s people like you that make his day so much worse!”

    Customer #24: *stomps off*

    Lodging A Compliment

    | Truro, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work on the reception of a large hotel chain. We do a deal where you can get cheap nights at a hotel under three circumstances: 1) you book and pay in advance, 2) you don’t alter the booking in ANY way, and 3) you book online. As there’s minimal person-to-person interaction, there are plenty of people who tick the ‘terms and conditions’ without reading them. The biggest catch is that if you cancel, as you’ve paid in advance, the hotel still charges you the stay.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [hotel and chain] and I’m [name]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Hello, I’ve made a booking for the 21st until the 23rd but I’ve changed my mind, and I’d like to come the following weekend instead. Could you change this for me?”

    Me: “One moment, sir. I’ll just bring up your booking…”

    (I take his details and quickly notice he’s on this deal, and therefore I cannot make any changes.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s not possible for me to change it. You’ve booked through our [offer system] and therefore we can’t make any alterations to the booking.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? I just want you to change the dates. What’s so difficult?”

    Me: “I understand, sir, but you’ve made this booking under the deal, and part of the contract of that is that there cannot be any changes to the booking.”

    Customer: “What?! What contract? I signed no contract!”

    Me: “The details of the offer are in the Terms and Conditions when you made the booking. We do advise you read those.”

    Customer: “Fine! I don’t want to come to your hotel now at all. Just cancel the booking.”

    Me: “Of course, sir, but you must know that we’ll still charge you for the stay. That’s also in the terms and conditions. If you cancel for whatever reason, [chain] will still charge the money.”

    (The customer explodes down the phone at me, and I have to hold the phone away from my ear because of the noise level. He begins threatening to go to the media, ruining the chain’s reputation and generally being abrasive. At this point, two women walk into the reception and I ask them politely to wait as I’m currently dealing with the customer on the phone. They both lean on the counter and can clearly hear the man on the other end shouting at me. Finally, he calms somewhat.)

    Me: “I completely understand your predicament, sir. I have been wondering if my system would allow me to change the dates of the stay in such an event but haven’t been able to do so for obvious reasons. The only thing I can offer you is that I, out of curiosity, change the dates on your booking. I warn you, I have no idea if this will be successful, as I’ve not attempted it before. If I change it you may still be charged. This is the best I can offer you. Do you understand?”

    Customer: “Yes, I understand. You’re going to try to change it, but your system might not allow it?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “And if the system doesn’t allow it, I may be charged.”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “Let’s do it, then!”

    (I change the dates and luckily, it allows it. He is still on the offer, but on different days. I explain this to him.)

    Me: “So, you’re booked in for [dates] which will cost you [price] and I do suggest that, next time, you don’t use this offer. It’s quite tempting, but if you aren’t absolutely certain on the dates of your stay, it’ll cost you extra.”

    Customer: “Thank you so much! I’ve written down your name, I’ll enjoy meeting you. You’ve been such a help and I’ll bring you a bottle of bourbon for you when I get there.”

    (I end the call, and make a note of his attitude on his booking, as warning for other receptionists that might encounter him. I look up sheepishly at the two women still waiting to be checked in.)

    Me: “How can I help you today?”

    Woman #1: “Get your manager down here right now.”

    (I call down the manager, knowing what they’ve heard me do is against company policy, and that I could be in a lot of trouble for doing it.)

    Manager: “What can I do for you, ladies?”

    Woman #2: “This girl has just shown the best customer service we’ve ever seen.”

    Woman #1: “Yes, we stay in these hotels all the time, and I’ve never seen anyone handle a bad customer like that.”

    Woman #2: “It was amazing! You should’ve seen it! She deserves a medal for keeping her cool. Definite customer satisfaction, and she hasn’t even checked us in yet!”

    Manager: “Thank you, ladies, I’ll make a note of it. If that’s all, I’ll leave her to check you in?”

    (I got a commendation from head office for my conduct, although they weren’t entirely clear on the details of why I should get it. It’s not monetary reward, but having ‘outstanding customer service award’ from one of the leading hotel chains in the UK does look rather good on my CV… and all for breaking company policy!)

    (P.S. The man didn’t bring me the bourbon after all!)

    Page 969/2,465First...967968969970971...Last