Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • De-Engineering Stereotypes
    (1,703 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Sender To Return

    | Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid

    (A customer comes in and presents me with a package. I immediately note that he has the delivery address in the place of the return address, by standard postal conventions.)

    Customer: “I sent this package from here last week, and it came back to me.”

    Me: “Sir, you have your addresses in the wrong places.”

    Customer: “Why does it matter? Can’t the post office hire people who can read?”

    Me: “They can read just fine, sir. However, they do try to move quickly to get your mail out on time, so they look at the second address.”

    Customer: “That just means they’re stupid and they need to learn how to read. No wonder the post office is going out of business!”

    Me: “Sir, standard postal addressing conventions have the return address on top, and the delivery address on the bottom, and this is what postal employees expect to see. You have your ‘To’ and ‘From’ backwards.”

    Customer: “Oh, so now this is all my fault? They deliver it wrong and you tell me it’s my fault? I hope you don’t expect to keep business that way. I won’t be coming back. I’m going to UPS.”

    Me: “Have a good day, sir!”

    Next customer: *having witnessed entire exchange* “UPS is going to send it back to his house too!”

    Me: *nods*

    Those Mosquitoes Can Bite Me

    | Dewitt, MI, USA | Family & Kids

    (This happened a couple of summers ago. It had been a wet and warm summer, so the mosquitoes had been abnormally bad. So, when a young two-and-a-half-year-old boy come through my lane I tried to make conversation…)

    Me: “Hi there, buddy!”

    Boy: *big smile* “Hi!”

    Me: “Looks like some mosquitoes bit ‘cha.”

    Boy: “Yeah! Here…”

    (He points to a bite on his arm.)

    Boy: “Here…”

    (He points to another bite on the same arm.)

    Boy: “Here…”

    (He points to yet another bite on the same arm.)

    Boy: “And here!”

    (The last bite is on his middle finger, which he shows me by flipping me off.)

    Both the mother and me: *laughing hysterically*

    Canada, America’s Hat, Part 6

    | Michigan, USA | Canada, Geography

    (Our company is part of a global organization that holds weekend teaching conferences across North America.)

    Caller: “Do you ever have programs in Canada, or just in the States?”

    Me: “Our territory covers North America. We have programs in the US, Canada, and Bermuda.”

    Caller: “Canada isn’t part of North America.”

    Me: “Yes it is. Canada is part of North America.”

    Caller: “Typical American attitude! Canada is its OWN country!”

    Getting To The Root Of The Problem, Part 3

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m a server at an Italian restaurant. I approach a table where my guest is pointing at a moderately-priced item on our wine list.)

    Me: “Hi, there! Welcome to [restaurant]. Can I answer any questions about the wine menu?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I was gonna ask if you had any wines from Venice, but then I realized there’s no dirt there!”

    Related:
    Getting To The Root Of The Problem, Part 2
    Getting To The Root Of The Problem

    Sauce For The Saucy

    | Washington, DC, USA | Food & Drink

    (At our take-out counter, we frequently have people order online and pay by credit card before they arrive. Once in a while, someone forgets they still have to sign the receipt when they get there.)

    Caller: “Yes, hello, I’d like to speak to a manager. I have a take-out complaint.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I work at take-out; what seems to be the problem?”

    Caller: “I just came and picked up my order, and it isn’t right at all!”

    Me: “Oh, yes. You came in just a moment ago, grabbed the bag on the counter, and left?”

    Caller: “Yes, and I already paid for it.”

    Me: “True, but that bag wasn’t yours. Sir, that bag was full of our spare packets of soy sauce.”

    Caller: “Oh. I was wondering why you gave me so much of the stuff.”

    Page 968/2,118First...966967968969970...Last