He’s Not Fine With It

| Zion, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Money

(A few weeks earlier, we had a massive power outage in the area. Even after we got power back, the system was down for a time, and patron accounts were not accessible. Because of this, if anybody wanted to use the public computers, we had to print out a guest pass. The system is now working again.)

Patron: “I’d like a guest pass to use the computer, please.”

Me: “Actually, the system is back up. You should be able to sign in with your card.”

Patron: “The fines on my card are too high; it won’t let me on.”

Me: “Oh. I’m sorry. In that case, you can’t use the computer.”

Patron: “I don’t understand. Somebody printed a guest pass for me last week.”

Me: “That’s because the system was down. Nobody was able to use their cards then. But now that they’re back up, we have to go by the rules.”

Patron: “Tell me something: if somebody came in from a different library district and had to use the computer, what would you do?”

Me: “I’d give them a guest pass.”

Patron: “So how is this any different?”

Me: “If a patron came in from a different library district, then they wouldn’t owe us money.”

His Magnetic Personality Won The Day

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Health & Body, Love/Romance, Top

(I am an African-American male. When I was 13, I was in a car accident that has left me with a little bit of a limp since. I have two metal rods in my leg from the accident. An elderly customer comes into my lane for checkout.)

Me: “Hello, how are you today ma’am? Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Elderly Customer: “Actually, I couldn’t find this brownie mix.”

(The customer shows me a coupon for the mix.)

Me: “Oh, I can get that for you! Just a moment!”

(I start to walk away. My limp is showing, as it always is. I hear the woman speak up from behind me.)

Elderly Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes?”

Elderly Customer: “I know that you guys like to walk like that, but could you hurry? I’m in a bit of a rush!”

Me: “What do you mean, ma’am?”

Elderly Customer: “The way you young lazy n****** walk these days. I’m surprised your pants are even up!”

(Now I get what she’s saying, and I feel I should show her something. We keep fridge-magnets for sale near the checkout. I call out to a nearby coworker)

Me: “Hey, [coworker], can you toss me a magnet?”

(My coworker tosses ones to me, and I stick the magnet to my leg.)

Me: “My mother and I were hit by a drunk driver when I was 13 years old. I am lucky I can even walk, since my leg is held together by metal rods.”

(The customer is now screaming incoherently; the only words that could be made out are racial slurs and shrieking. My manager walks up.)

Manager: “Excuse me, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store immediately. You cannot speak to my employees like that.”

Elderly Customer: “Fine! I don’t care! I wouldn’t buy anything any n***** touched anyway!”

(The customer continues screaming the whole way out, slowly being drowned out by people cheering her out. When I look at who has been behind her in the line the whole time, I see the girl from the coffee shop next door. I have had a little crush on her for a while. She says that was the most amazing thing she has ever seen, and asks me out!)

May 2013 Top Story Roundup

Not Always Right | Roundups

May 2013 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for the month of May!

  1. Pregnant With Potential (4,000 thumbs up)
  2. Spicing Up The Deal(er) (3,307 thumbs up)
  3. How To Disarm Volatile Customers (3,303 thumbs up)
  4. The Power To Be Nice (3,114 thumbs up)
  5. Addressed The Race Issue (3,070 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

The Sauce Of Her Entitlement

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(10 hours into my shift, an entitled, belligerent customer begins barking out orders. After an arduous ordering process, her meal arrives.)

Customer: “WHAT is THIS?”

Me: “That’s the broiled seafood platter you ordered, miss. May I provide any other sides or sauces to complement your meal?”

Customer: “What IS this?”

Me: “Oh, that small cup of cocktail sauce? We provide cocktail sauce with all of our shrimp meals, as it is commonly requested.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t LIKE cocktail sauce! I won’t eat it!”

Me: “Not a problem; you’re under no obligation to do so!”

Customer: “I SAID that I don’t LIKE it! TAKE IT OFF MY PLATE!”

(Although startled, I comply.)

Customer: “Bring me something else!”

Me: “Would you like drawn butter?”

Customer: “I want shrimp sauce!”

Me: “Cocktail sauce is the condiment we most commonly pair with our shrimp, but I’d be happy to bring you samples of our remoulade, tartar, hot sauce, Asian sauce—”

Customer: “ASIAN sauce? What is that?”

Me: “It’s similar to sweet and sour sauce.”

Customer: “Is it spicy?”

Me: “Mostly, it’s sweet and sour. I don’t find it spicy at all, but I can’t predict how it will taste to you.”

Customer: “Ugh, you’re no help! Fetch me the sauce your executive chef recommends! Unlike you, he’ll know!”

(Upon recommendation, I offer the Asian sauce.)

Customer: “UGH! This is spicy! You lied to me!”

Me: “I apologize; I did not intend to mislead you. Would you like to try another sauce?”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t just bring me shrimp sauce! That’s what I want! You aren’t very good at this, are you?”

Me: “I’m sorry; the only ‘shrimp sauce’ we carry is cocktail sauce.”

Customer: “Wait, cocktail sauce? That sounds about right. Bring that out immediately!”

(The woman happily devours her cocktail sauce, casting me death stares all the while.)

A Wally With A Wallet

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Top

(Our area has recently been hit with a bunch of fraudulent credit cards. We’ve been advised to double check IDs and cards. My coworker is checking out a customer and asks to see his ID.)

Customer: “What do you need to see my ID for?”

Coworker: “We’ve been advised to check all IDs. Besides the back of your card says to check ID anyway, so…”

Customer: “Well, I’m telling you I am not showing you my identity! This is ridiculous! Where’s your manager?”

Me: “That would be me, sir. You’ll either have to show identification, or use another form of payment.”

Customer: “Fine! Here!”

(He tossed his entire wallet at me. I glanced at the ID, which is out of state. The man in the picture was very obviously not the man in front of me. Furthermore, the card was in a woman’s name. I slid the ID to the side and noticed that another ID was underneath; this ID was to another person! My coworker noticed this, too. He ducked around the bend, and I heard him calling the police. I pretended to run the card through and have ‘technical problems’, stalling him long enough for the cops to get to our store. When they searched him, they found another wallet on him with various cards. He’d been using stolen cards all day without anyone checking them!)

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