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    Calling Them Out(age)

    | Plymouth, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (It is the final few hours of my twelve hour shift. We have a scheduled system outage, which customers have been warned about for some time. There is a message whenever a customer dials, long before they have to select all of their options to reach us, informing them of the outage and the fact that apart from giving information, no one on the company can perform any action as there are NO computers. As a result, we get maybe one call every hour.)

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to the billing department. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I would like to pay my son’s bill, please. He’s been cut off.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but there is nothing I can do for you this evening due to the scheduled outage. If you would like to call back tomorrow—”

    Customer: “Isn’t there someone else who can do it?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. The whole company is out at this time.”

    Customer: “What about in India?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. As I’ve said, the whole company is out until about midday tomorrow, as per the message—”

    Customer: “What about a manager? I need to pay this! My son’s phone has been cut off!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration, but there are no computer systems at all in the whole company. That means Plymouth, the call centres in North Tyneside, the fraud department in Bristol, and our colleagues in Mumbai.”

    Customer: “This is completely unacceptable! How am I meant to know about this? What is my son supposed to do? He is cut off! You are deliberately not helping me! I demand to speak to your manager! I—”

    Me: “You know what? I am a very good CSR. I do my job well. I am tired of having this conversation with someone who is being willfully ignorant. You have been warned about this outage for the last month, and to get to me you had to bypass at least two messages informing you of the problem. I have explained several times that the entire company is out. And you are completely right, I don’t care that your son was cut off, because you have had over a month to make this payment and it is extremely late. If you wish to avoid this situation in future I suggest you pay on time. Good night.”

    Keep Calm, Smile On

    Paranoid Much?

    Her Manners Are Phone-y

    | Tampa, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

    (I work at a very busy supermarket and sometimes we don’t have enough baggers to keep up with all of the registers and help people out to their cars. I have a long line and the customer is talking very loudly on her phone at my register. I don’t have a bagger.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you today? Will plastic be alright?”

    (The customer continues talking on her phone, completely ignoring me.)

    Me: *a little louder* “Ma’am, will plastic be okay with you today?”

    (She continues to ignore me. So, I start ringing through her large order and then proceed to bag it all in plastic, which is my usual default in situations like this. After everything is bagged…)

    Me: “Okay ma’am, your total comes to $193.55. Do you have any coupons today?”

    Customer: *to her phone* “Hold on a second.” *to me* “Didn’t your mama ever tell you that it is rude to talk to people when they’re on the phone?! Honestly! I swear you people don’t have any manners anymore! Oh, and I wanted everything in paper. Double bagged and pack it all light!”

    (She then turns back to her phone and continues talking to her friend, complaining how rude I was and how slow I am moving. However, Customer #2, who is behind her in line, is a regular of mine. She winks at me and then speaks up loudly.)

    Customer #2: “Honestly! The manners of some people. I mean didn’t her mama ever teach her to get off the phone while in line at the grocery store?” *turns to Customer #1* “And if you have a problem with how she bagged your stuff then you need to answer the sweet young lady when she was talking to you. At least when she finishes putting herself through college she will have the experience to put up with b****** like yourself as she moves to the top of a company.”

    (Customer #1 gets completely enraged and starts screaming how she will complain on me and will get me fired. She then grabs her groceries, still mostly in plastic and storms out of the store.)

    Customer #2: “If she calls and complains you let me know, darling. I’ll set the story straight. You keep up the good work!”

    Not Wii-motely Possible

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s New Year’s Day at a popular gaming retail store. A disgruntled customer who appears to be a little caffeinated and twitchy walks up to the cashier, who also happens to be the assistant manager. He slams a Nintendo Wiimote in poor condition on the counter. Not only has it clearly been used, but it’s crusty and looks very unsanitary.)

    Customer: “Listen, I know you guys can’t give cash refunds without the receipt, but you’re going to have to do it. I’m the customer, so I’m right.”

    (The assistant manager remains silent and looks at the Wiimote, obviously hesitant to touch it.)

    Customer: “I used to work for [name of game shop] 10 years ago, so I know how things work! Give me my cash!”

    (My assistant manager looks to the cashier knowingly.)

    Customer: “If you want, I can call the manager and he’ll tell you to do it! Give me my cash now!”

    Assistant Manager: “You’re more than welcome to call the manager, but if you worked for [name of store] 10 years ago, then you should know things may have changed. The manager you used to know probably doesn’t even work for this chain anymore.”

    Customer: “Give me my f***ing cash!”

    Assistant Manager: “You just crossed the line by cussing, sir. There are children present. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I’m the f***ing customer!”

    Assistant Manager: “Get out!”

    Customer: “F*** you! You guys are f***ing retards!”

    (The customer storms out of the store after grabbing his Wiimote.)

    Me: “Well, that’s one way to start of the New Year!”

    Assistant Manager: “Coming in here and cussing is not a good way to get what you want. I hadn’t even said ‘no’ yet. Although even if I could give him a cash refund for a ‘used’ controller, it was so crusty and disgusting that it looked like he dropped it in the toilet and then used it!”

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