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    Why Nurses Need Hazard Pay

    | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I’m a senior nurse. A patient has been caught leaving her room to go to her car and smoke. After repeated warnings on numerous occasions, her doctor finally draws the line.)

    Doctor: “If she’s well enough to go and smoke, I think she’s well enough to be discharged.”

    (The patient is enraged at this, and starts yelling.)

    Patient: “I need my cigarettes! You’re discriminating against me!”

    (She finally leaves. I get called by another nurse to her former room several minutes later.)

    Nurse: “You have to see this.”

    (The patient’s room is completely smeared with feces; on the bed, in the bathroom sink, all over the walls. There’s even a pile just inside the door that we almost step on.)

    Me: “What kind of person does something like this?! It’s not human!”

    Nurse: “If you’re that upset about not getting your nicotine, something is wrong with you!”

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    Why Tech Support Needs Hazard Pay

    From USB Port To Teleport

    | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I am chatting online with a potential customer.)

    Customer: “Hey, I really like this necklace. Can I pay by Paypal?”

    Me: “Absolutely, if you follow the instructions on check out, you can pay and leave your shipping address there. I’ll get it shipped in the morning.”

    Customer: “Do I have to leave an address? Can’t you just email it to me?”

    Me: “Email you for your address?”

    Customer: “No, email me the necklace. I don’t want to give you my address.”

    Me: “You want me to email you the necklace?”

    Customer: “Never mind, cancel it. You’re too much work!”

    Just Trying To Get Stuff For Free

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    Snippy Customers

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    Abusing Democracy

    | FL, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Geography, Politics

    (It is the evening of July 3rd.)

    Customer: “Can you show me where you keep your American flags?”

    Me: “Down the holiday aisle, at the back.”

    (A few moments later, we hear her screaming. My manager runs back to find out what is happening. She is screaming so loud that we can hear every word.)

    Manager: “What’s wrong, ma’am?”

    Customer: “What’s wrong with you people!?”

    (She holds up the American flag box, and points at the ‘Made in China’ stamp on the bottom.)

    Manager: “I don’t see the problem, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How dare you people try to sell an American flag that was made in China!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, only the box was made in China.”

    Customer: “Don’t you try to pull that on me! I can clearly see the stamp that says this flag was made in China!”

    Manager: “It says the flag was made in the USA right here on the front of the box, ma’am.”

    Customer: “You’re lying to me again! I can’t believe how stupid you people are!”

    (She storms off. My manager and I have a little laugh, and then we get back to work. About half an hour later, two policemen come in and ask for my manager.)

    Manager: “How can I help you, officers?”

    Cop #1: “We got a call about an attempted homicide in this store.”

    Manager: “Really? This is the first I’ve heard of it. What happened?”

    Cop #2: “The lady that called 911 said that the people at this store, and were trying to kill her with their dropping prices.”

    (It’s clear by this point the cops are stifling a laugh, and are making light of the customer’s ridiculous call.)

    Cop #1: “Would you know anything about that?”

    Manager: “No, sir, as far as I know, we don’t drop our prices unless we’re sure they won’t land on anyone!”

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