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    Weekend Roundup: When Customers Attack!

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Wild & Unruly

    When Customers Attack! This week, we share stories of unruly customers who prefer (violent) action over words!

    1. Bull In A China Shop:
      Sticks & stones may break my bones, but naked, guitar-throwing customers can really hurt me!
    2. Acute Mental Failure:
      HULK CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOSPITAL DOOR! HULK SMASH!
    3. (Full) Front(al) Desk:
      Can’t check into your hotel room, lady? Just mentally check out by ripping off your clothes and running in circles!
    4. Fudge In Flight:
      A customer airs their fudge frustrations by sending their ice cream sundae airborne.
    5. Marriage: The Ultimate Slippery Slope:
      Here’s to throwing your belongings in the air like you just don’t care!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Might We Suggest Anti-Virus Protection

    | Melbourne, Australia | Technology

    Customer: “My TV has a USB port and the manual says I need something to plug into it to be able to record. A HDD, or SSD, or an STD or something.”

    Me: “Oh, a hard drive! Sure, let me show you where they are.”

    (I show the customer to the hard drives and we discuss how much space he needs.)

    Customer: “So, should I get the 320GB or the 750GB STD?”

    Me: “Uh, well it depends on how much you think you’ll be recording.”

    Customer: “Well, at this price, I’ll just get the cheaper one. Then, if it fills up, I can get more. My family can swap STDs whenever they need to, then!”

    Fresher Than You’ll Ever Be

    | Massena, NY, USA | Food & Drink

    (I have worked at this concession stand for four years and this particular customer has been coming at least once a week since I started. Some variation of this same argument occurs every week.)

    Regular Customer: “Is that coffee fresh?”

    Me: “Relatively. I haven’t been open that long. You want some?”

    Regular Customer: “No. It needs to be fresh!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it is fresh. I just opened fifteen minutes ago.”

    Regular Customer: “No! I can only drink fresh coffee!”

    Me: “It is fresh coffee!”

    (The customer stands there and glares at me without saying a word for about a minute.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am not making a new pot of coffee. This one is still fresh and over half-full.”

    Regular Customer: “Yeah, well, it’s not fresh! No one’s going to buy it!”

    Me: “Someone just did!”

    Regular Customer: “Well, no one else will because you’re trying to sell them old coffee! I need fresh coffee!” *storms off*

    Other Regular Customer: “You’d think she’d have learned just to bring her own d*** coffee by now.”

    Patience Is Priceless

    | USA | Family & Kids, Money, Top

    (Today I am the only teller working at the bank, as the rest of my coworkers have called in sick. A little boy whose head barely peeks over the counter waves his hand with a bag of coins in it.)

    Boy: “I want to put this on my savings account! I worked hard! I’m saving money for my girlfriend’s birthday!”

    (As it happens the cash counting machine is broken, so I have to count them by hand.)

    Me: “All right, let’s see how much you got there!” *starts adding up the pennies*

    (The customer behind the boy, an elderly woman, is growing very impatient.)

    Woman: “Oh, come on! I’ve got more to do!”

    Me: “Just a moment, ma’am.” *continues counting*

    Woman: *angry* “Hurry up! My time is valuable!”

    Me: *finally finished counting* “That’s $31.75! You can buy her a handsome gift!”

    Boy: *smiles* “Yeah, she’ll be happy! Bye!” *rushes outside*

    Me: “Bye!” *to the woman* “How can I help you?”

    Woman: *confused* “Oh…I forgot…”

    Me: “Please step aside, then, so I can help the next customer…”

    Woman: *face turns red, mumbles, leaves the bank*

    A Quack Of All Trades

    | Springfield, MA, USA | Health & Body

    (I work at the information desk in a section of the hospital allocated for renting to private practices. It’s a pretty large building, so we get a lot of patients asking directions to a certain doctor’s office.)

    Patient: “I have an appointment at 2:00. Where do I go?”

    Me: “Well, this is a large building with a lot of doctors in it. Who did you need to see?”

    Patient: “I don’t know. Can’t you look it up? My name is [name].”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I don’t have access to the doctors’ schedules. Do you remember what kind of doctor it was? General practitioner, cardiologist—”

    Patient: “I don’t remember.”

    Me: “What were you seeing the doctor for?”

    Patient: “My kidneys, I think…”

    (I start going through the list of doctors looking for nephrologists.)

    Me: “Does [nephrologist] sound familiar?”

    Patient: “I don’t remember! Just tell me where my appointment is!”

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